traded my life [TWD]

『51』

"You are the one who created my innermost parts; you knit me together while I was still in my mother's womb. I give thanks to you that I was marvelously set apart," Hershel speaks, low and soft.

I rest my head on the wall, eyes feeling like they weigh a thousand kilos.

"Your works are wonderful- know that very well. My bones weren't hidden from you when I was being put together in a sacred place, when I was being woven together in the deep parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my embryo, and on your scroll every day was written that was being formed for me, before any one of them had yet happened."

Hershel's wrinkled hands rub gently on the baby's head that was in my arms. The baby snuggles closer in my embrace and breathes softly, sleeping peacefully despite the chaos.

"God, your plans are incomprehensible to me. Their total number is countless! If I tried to count them-they outnumber grains of sand! If I came to the very end- l'd still be with you."

I raise my head enough to tilt my head to the side, getting a lock of hair out of my face. "Why do you insist on this?"

"Hmm?" Hershel hums.

"Ever since we left the farm and I took that test, you prayed over my bump like God is holding a gun to your head. Now that the baby is here, you still pray over him. You don't do it for Lori."

"Lori says that I shouldn't pray for her child. She believes it is a bastard baby."

"And he's not?" I joke. "I don't even know the dad. We had a one-night stand in Korea and I flew back here."

"Maggie used to watch this reality show all about women who weren't aware they were pregnant until they gave birth. It was the epitome of trash television, but as a doctor, I found it interesting. Hopeful."

My eyes feel heavier and heavier. Hershel had a calming voice and gentle touch.

"I'm glad that your child showed signs before then," he adds. "Otherwise, we would have had a big problem. And now.. look at him."

I glance down to the baby boy in my arms. A small smile creeps over my lips.

It took months for the timeline to make sense.

Jenner only brought up the pregnancy because it was my blood showing signs of a pregnancy.

During the nights spent clubbing in Seoul with my mother, I took home and went home with a couple of different men. One of those led me to get pregnant. Because Rick was shot and I had to hurry home, I forgot to take any contraceptives.

Then, with everything that had been going on with the fall of the world, I didn't even notice the symptoms. I was so caught up in Lori, Shane, and Rick's issues that I didn't take care of my own. The world crumbling. Raising Carl.

I showed signs of being pregnant. I only noticed them now that I looked back.

Tired. Winded. Nauseated through the day. I had irregular periods, but I always struggled with that- if you throw in not eating correctly and stress that makes the cycles worse, it wasn't even a thought to cross my mind.

When the farm fell, I was five months along.

Still small. Tummy still flat. Sick. Weak.

If it hadn't been for me finally feeling the baby move and taking the test, I never would've known. If anything, the little bump just looked like I was bloated or ate a little more than usual. It was hardly a baby bump.

It was a miracle the baby had survived through the duration of the pregnancy. The fall. The CDC. Runs out to the cities. Injuries. The farm. Stress. Malnutrition. Then, running on the road.

I was farther along than Lori.

I gave birth only four months ago.

It was cold. Winter. We estimated the time to be around January the fourth.

Rick had led the group to clean out a house just hours before my water broke. We had a place to stay for two nights. I gave birth. Two days later, another herd came through and we had to move. 

It was hard enough surviving on the road. Running from place to place after freshly giving birth was a whole other story.

Now, I was healing. Four months wasn't long, but, as Hershel said before, my body knew what I needed. So, I was healing faster than usual. Nature, Hershel said, it was beautiful and ever-changing.

The baby boy is four months old. The poor thing didn't even have a name until he was two months old.

I'd gone back and forth on a name for so long. I was still trying to come to terms with being a mother to begin with. The pregnancy was so unexpected and shoved aside that I barely comprehended the fact that I now had a child.

Considering that I'd found out about him just days after finding Jiwoo, I couldn't help but think that they had plotted it against me in some other realm of time.

So, I named him Woojin as an alternative to my late sister's name.

Woojin was four months old. I was healing. And yet, we were still on the road looking for shelter.

"Get some rest," Hershel urges. "The others will be back soon with a plan."

Hersel scooted closer to me and rested my head on his shoulder. Woojin snuggles closer to my chest and my eyes grow heavier.

"Lord, please allow for Hyejin to have endurance and strength that comes from You, and keep her and Woojin safe. I know that Woojin is important and he is destined to do great things. I ask that you show us the way to a safe haven so that Woojin may have a special upbringing and grow to reflect the love and light you have given us. May Your will be done, Lord. In Your Heavenly name, Amen."

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓈--

PLOT TWIST BOOM

honestly if you go back and read from when rick gets shot its pretty obvious hyejin was pregnant

i put a lot of her mood swings, morning sickness, and all in there the signs were there i just had yall paying attention to other stuff more :)))))