MALE WEIGHT GAIN, STUFFING AND GENERAL FATTINESS AHEAD*
For once, Kenny was happy with his beach body, having trained more than half a year to get ready for summer, much to his (and a few onlookers’) delight. Then BAM, Halloween and Thanksgiving were all up in his face, passed in a heartbeat, and obvious results were left in their wake. It wasn’t much of a surprise, like all years prior, but this time he thought the desires could be kept at bay, but alas, this was not the case.
If anything, it got worse.
“Ken, don’t worry about it,” Kenny’s girlfriend, Trisha, peeked over her newspaper and beckoned him over to the dinner table. “It’s the same as always.”
“I think you need new glasses.”
Bothered by her comment, he took a hard look down, right at the little blob squeezed into his tank top, which in turn kept on rolling up to his discernible man boobs. Sitting down, he felt bigger, with the dough spreading out, so to speak.
“This is bad,” he continued. “Super bad.”
“You’re exaggerating. You lost last year’s pudge easily, so next time will be a cakewalk, right?”
“And most of that pudge piled up during CHRISTMAS. If all THIS…” Kenny pinched his gut “…came from the last two, there’s no telling what’ll happen this time!”
“Relax, babe. It’ll be FINE!”
Long story short, she was wrong.
Christmas passed, and it felt way, WAY longer than the other holidays. Almost every day of December offered a feast, be it from relatives, friends, Trisha, or Kenny himself. In fact, the majority was arranged by the latter, ordered by handfuls of different catering services and restaurants. Swept up in the holiday spirit and unable to show any kind of restraint, all his fears came true, and then some.
Unable to see what it said, Kenny stepped off the scale, put on his shirt and headed to the kitchen. Leftovers were scattered around, some in places that baffled the mind. Even so, they tasted alright enough, and made for a decent breakfast. So did the mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie, not to mention the cider and fudge, as well as the ham, eggnog and cookies.
With every bite, Kenny muttered, cursing himself for his behavior. It was unbelievable. As much as he had prepared for it, with all the psyching up, with all the support from Trisha (who left him halfway into the month), it wasn’t enough. There was nothing else left to do than to wallow in self-pity and weakness.
Unfortunately, work had to get in the way. He had hoped for it to keep him preoccupied with other things, but it was impossible not to think of it, especially when his chair cried out in pain all the time. His cubicle was smaller, too, making it a whole lot easier to knock things over. Crammed into his business shirt, none of the buttons closed, he leaned over the computer and reluctantly tapped away.
“Good morning, Kenny…”
A familiar face peeked over the wall, from the work station in front of him. Only half of it could be seen, revealing a set of thick glasses, partly covered by cyan highlights. Annalee, or Lee for short, spoke as softly as ever, while trying to pull herself higher up. Her scrawny arms were not fit for the job, nor had they ever been.
“Hey, Lee,” Kenny sighed, swearing that the armrests got tighter by the second. “Can I help you with something?”
“No… oomph… not really. Or maybe… hnngh… I don’t know…”
“Just walk over here. It’s seven steps, tops.”
“Are you sure?”
An affirming nod followed by fourteen foot-dragging steps later, Lee had made her way over. A few sweat drops ran down her large forehead, and her suit was somewhat steamy. Those pull-ups did a number on her every time. Small to begin with, she felt much tinier now; a hobbit in front of a mountain troll.
