This story contains male weight gain and bloating.)
James never liked these kind of work events. The forced bonding and socialization never made him feel any closer to his coworkers the way mutually complaining about upper management at the office did. But he knew it would be a bad look if he didn't go. So he found himself driving to Keeland’s Farms at 10:45 PM when he would have rather been on his way home. But if he was going to go to this kind of event, then he was going to milk it for all it was worth. He planned to take advantage of the free lunch, then the free ice cream, and leave once he’d made an appearance, to enjoy a nice, long afternoon off.
It didn't help matters that management always scheduled these outings in the summer, so the interns could participate. After parking his car in the Keeland’s lot and stepping out, James felt like he’d walked into a wall of heat and humidity. He immediately regretted wearing the light blue button-down shirt and khakis from the office to the event and not bringing something more casual for him to change into. Even for a guy like him who didn't have much in the way of body fat or facial hair as insulation, it still left him far too hot for comfort.
But at the very least, he was going to try to make the best of it. Now that he was out of the office, he unbuttoned his sleeve cuffs and rolled his sleeves up, providing a little bit of relief from the afternoon heat. As he walked toward the ice cream stand that served as the farm’s front, he hoped the lunch would be in a shady spot.
Thankfully, with all the trees and stands behind the ice cream stand, nearly the entirety of Keeland's was in shade. It also meant there wasn't much of a breeze to be found, but James was okay with that trade. Following the signs, he made his way to the event area, where he found a large tent marked with a sign bearing the name of his company.
Under the tent, James saw about two dozen of his coworkers, the other early birds who could get away from the office before lunch. The buffet seemed to have already been set up, featuring foods from the various stands around Keeland’s, most of it of the fried variety.
“James! Good to see you!” his boss, Erin, called out, before walking toward him with a plate stacked with onion rings, fried shrimp, and fish sticks.
“Erin, hey,” James replied. Erin was fine as a boss, but he knew she wasn't the kind of person he would willingly spent time with outside of work. “Yeah, I just got here.”
“Well hey, get at the buffet before a line forms,” she told him. “And don’t forget to take your free ice cream voucher at the end.”
“Will do,” James replied, before getting in line with the plan to fill his plate with as much seafood as possible. Of course he stacked it with shrimp and fish sticks, but when he saw the lobster rolls and fried clams, he got a smile on his face. Maybe coming to this event was worth it after all.
James sat with Erin and the rest of his team, most of whom he got along with just fine, who slowly filtered in as he ate his first plate. Once he realized there was no one stopping him from taking a second plate, he got up for a second round of food, followed by a third. He didn't usually have such a big appetite, but as long as he was eating on the company dime, he intended to milk them for all they were worth.
By the time he finished his third plate, though, he found himself wondering if he’d taken it too far. As satisfying as it was to have eaten so much, the mound of greasy food in his gut stretched his stomach enough that he felt the slightest twinge of pain. As he rose from his chair, he could feel that his center of gravity had shifted enough to require him to adjust his motions. Once he stood up, he could feel his bloated stomach pushing against the inside of his tucked in shirt.
