Passion In The Game

Drifting Apart

With the difficulty of getting Rayna pregnant, there was definitely a strain on the marriage. Anthony couldn't really look Rayna the same. True, she wasn't completely incapable of birthing children. It was just harder for her than most women. She kept taking her medicine hoping Anthony would be the mood and maybe they could finally have a chance at creating a family.

She'd try and try to get Anthony's attention, to entice him, make him want her. It just wasn't working. He'd stray away from her almost as if avoiding her. They stopped eating together, their conversations were short, they couldn't even be in the same room together for long. Anthony, some nights, wouldn't hold her close to him.

They had only been married a short time and already they hit a huge setback. It was breaking Rayna down. She would try so hard but, it seemed like Anthony wouldn't.

Rayna laid in bed, reading. She had been up awhile and was still silent as Anthony got ready for bed. He had come back from an event and it was late.

"I'd thought you would've been sleep by the time I got home." Anthony said coming out of the bathroom.

"It's been a long day, just moved so slow. And work didn't make the time go by faster. As tired as I am, you'd think I'd be sleep." she groaned.

"Oh," he said sliding into bed. "You wanna talk to me about it."

"Ain't much to really to talk about. Days are the same. Day after day." Rayna groaned turning the page to her book.

"Still, baby. Talk to me." he said taking her book from her. Rayna looked at him as this was the first time he had actually seemed to soften his heart in awhile.

"Well, a new guy came in and they sprung him on me for to train him." Rayna said.

"Was he bad?" he said holding her hand.

"No. He was just slow. " Rayna sighed. "I had to baby him, hold his hand."

"And that was a problem for you?" Anthony said kissing her shoulder.

"Nah. It's just I'm not used to having to drag someone along." Rayna said.

Anthony mumbled something as he began to kiss her neck. Rayna moaned. Anthony pulled her close and moved from her neck then, her cheek, next her lips. Rayna turned the kiss into a deep, passionate one. Rayna ran her hands down his torso and began to dig in his pants. He pulled away from her and removed her hand.

"What?" she said.

Anthony shook his head. "I just..."

"I know it's disappointing but, has it really turned you away from me?" Rayna said. "Have I become that unattractive?"

"No baby." Anthony said cupping her face.

"Don't lie to me. I know my body is messed up but, the absolute least you can do is not make me feel like a complete fuck up." Rayna said.

"Don't curse." Anthony said. "If you're going to have an attitude, maybe we should just call it a night."

"Don't run from me just because I'm willing to confront and fix our problem and you aren't." Rayna said.

"I'm not running for anything." Anthony said.

"Then, let's try. Try for a baby. I've been taking the medicine, I'm sure it'll work this time." Rayna said.

"Why do we need medicine for us to have a kid?" Anthony said.

"Because, it's what you wanted. You want a family and I'm trying to give you that!" Rayna said. "But you sitting here isn't going to get us nowhere closer."

"How do we know it's going to work?" Anthony said. "How do we know that this isn't going to be like other times we tried. I'm not going to waste energy just to read a pregnancy test to tell me for the 100th time that I can't have a family!"

"We can! I got off birth control and went to the clinic. I took all the tests. I've taken the medicine and done all I've needed to do." Rayna said. "I've tried and you need to try with me."

"I have! I've tried and tried and look where we are, Rayna!" Anthony said.

"Then try again. That's what happens in a marriage. We try together. Baby, we can do this." Rayna said grabbing his hands. "You want a family. It's not going to just pop up out of the blue."

"Rayna, I'm tired. Can we just go to bed and talk about this in the morning?" Anthony said rubbing his temples.

"You mean avoid me." Rayna said.

"Rayna, I love you. I love you with ever fiber of my being but, I can't do this tonight. Let's get some sleep and start fresh in the morning." Anthony said.

Rayna cut out the lights and tucked herself into bed with her back facing Anthony.

Rayna was downstairs making breakfast and sipping coffee. Anthony came downstairs and hugged her from behind. As sour as she was this morning, she could never turn down her husband. Rayna leaned back and kissed his jawline.

They felt the drift in between. As much as they loved each other, they just couldn't fill that void. Only one thing could but if Anthony wasn't willing to try, then there was almost no point.

Anthony connected his phone to the bluetooth speakers in the kitchen and pulled their song. Rayna turned around and took his hand while resting the other hand on his shoulder. They moved to the rhythm, remaining silent and letting the music take over. Anthony's foot stepped down on Rayna's.

She flinched and sighed.

"I'm sorry, baby." Anthony said softly.

"I know, Anthony. I know." she said.