A chandler riggs love story

Chapter 38

It's been almost 3 weeks since Chandler decided he wanted to take a break. I feel so empty and alone. When I don't feel numb I feel sad or angry. I'm sick of feeling like this. I haven't texted meg back for a week, even though she texts me often. Maybe it's good that I don't talk to anyone for a couple weeks. Or months. Or years. Forever. Maybe I should stop breathing for that same amount of time.

The only time I come out of my room is to eat whenever scar forces me to or to go to the bathroom. My mom texted me today. I have to quit the walking dead because I've missed my past 3 therapy appointments. She's going to force me to move back in with her. She's picking me up the day after tomorrow. I haven't been to school for almost a week, and I'm failing half of my classes. My life is falling apart before my eyes.

I'm losing everything. And I can feel myself slowly losing my mind. I get another text from meg.

Meg: I miss you! It will be okay. Be safe. Don't do anything stupid

Most of the time it helps, but today I don't feel anything. I think it's my time. I take the pills. I took so many I lost count. I quickly start writing.

"Chandler,
I'm sorry. I love you so much. Please forgive me. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Be strong for me. Live enough for the both of us. And never blame yourself.

Meg,
Thank you for being there for me. It meant a lot.

Zak,
Don't be afraid. Stay alive. I miss you, and I love you. Don't ever give up. Be stronger than I was

Scar,
You've been the best sister ever. Thank you. Please don't be too sad about this

Mom and Cade,
We didn't always get along. But thank you for supporting me and for the good times

TWD cast,
You've all been so nice to me, even when I've been a bitch. Thanks for accepting me

And to tyler and josh,
I'm sorry. Keep writing and playing your music. Keep helping kids like me. I love you both.

And now this is my last goodbye. I never thought that it would get this bad. I've been battling depression for so long. I guess it's winning. I'm sorry. I love you all. Thank you for everything. And goodbye."

I'm crying so much. Imagining them reading this... They'll be heartbroken. And I know he will blame himself. Will they ever move on? And I did make that promise. Shit. I think I've made a big mistake.

I call chandler quickly, and, to my surprise, he picks up.

"Hello?" He answers and it feels so good to hear his voice.
"Chandy, I've made a mistake. Please help me, I took so many," I reply. I'm starting to get sleepy, but I fight to stay awake.
"What did you do? I'll be there in a minute just hang on, please," he sounds urgent and scared. He hangs up. I stand up and try to walk to scars room. This seems like it's taking forever. I get one step out the door before collapsing on the floor. Ouch. Scarlett comes rushing to the hallway.

"What did you do? Oh my god Alyssa..." She says, noticing the empty pill bottle in my hand. Just then chandler runs in and sees us. I feel myself getting sleepier and it's getting harder to fight it.
"Help me take her to the shower now!" He yells desperately and I feel myself being picked up and carried to the bathroom. I'm seeing double when they pick me up. They put me in the tub and Chandler jumps in too and holds me in his arms while scar turns on freezing water. It helps a little but I'm still on the edge of blacking out. I stare up at Chandler and smile. He's beautiful.
"I love you, Chandy," I whisper. He's crying. Don't cry. I want I tell him that. But I can't do it. Everything turns dark.

Chandlers POV

Ally just blacked out. This can't happen. Scarlett makes her puke up some pills. How many did she take? She's still out. I can barely see. Tears cloud my vision. But the only thing I care about is her. I hear sirens approaching us. It's a good thing that I called them. She might make it, I don't want to let go. She can't leave me like this! I love her so much I just need her to stay. Please stay. I need her to live.