STATIC (LGBT)

Chapter 14

So before anyone says anything, this chapter is meant to be short. You know, transitioning from one thing to another is really hard, so I needed this short chapter but don't worry, I know where to go from here. I was just struggling a little with how to continue the story to where I wanted it to go. I bascially did 3 chapters and this is the last one which I was more satisfied with so enjoy :D

Kewk :3

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No. I didn’t stay after Jessica left.

Heck I wouldn’t considering the fact that I totally understood what she meant by ‘compare them’. She meant to compare Zoë and Heather… so that I could understand what liking someone was? Seriously? No way was I going to do something that was going to engage me into a deep and emotional connection. That was the first thing I told myself not to do when I agreed to Zoë’s ‘cracking my shell’ thing.

No no no no no! I’m not doing that. I’m not comparing them.

…

..

.

Yes, I freaked out and just left Zoë’s house. There was no explanation needed I guess since Zoë has seemed to conclude that whenever I do something, it’s for a reason. Which she didn’t really need to know. Not that she didn’t need to know but more like, if she’d asked I wouldn’t have been able to answer it with a straight face. Na-ah.

I shook my head as I brushed my teeth in front of the mirror the next morning. Monday morning, the day we were supposed to go back to school AND start orchestra practice at the IMT….

This is ridiculous. I’ve gone, in about 2 months from barely caring about people and being annoyed about group activities, to perfectly recognizing I’m a lesbian yet not being able to say it and having a personal struggle involving two girls… Yeah. I’m not that stupid. When Jessica said I had to compare them it meant that I like one of them. Although the problem, at least in my point of view, is that I don’t really understand why she said to compare Heather to Zoë if the only thing I told Jessica was that I’m quite close to her.

Sigh. That’s the part I don’t get. I can see WHY I could possibly like Heather because I get giddy in her presence but, Zoë? I’m most definitely not like that.

I grabbed my backpack from one of the living room couches and right before I was going to leave the room my dad called me out.

“Megan.” He called from the kitchen. When I turned my head I saw his head pop out from the doorframe like it usually does and he gave me a warm and handsomish smile. “Happy-Birthday.”

“Thanks.” I said smiling back and also trying to hide the fact that I totally forgot about it.

6th of January. How could I forget it? This totally shows how engulfed, without mentioning that it is stupid, I’ve been in things lately. Not that I’ve always enjoyed my birthday. It’s no difference from other days, only that the date is in my birth-certificate. But still, I forgot it. Not good.

I walked out of my place covered in a khaki colored winter coat over a gray sweater and with a wine colored scarf around my neck. Sounds fashionable huh? Well, not that I care about that really but most winter clothing my mom gets for me seems to fit really well with each other.

My eyes darted up to the sky which was as dark as you could imagine at 6.45 in the morning. All blackish and blueish in the middle of the winter season something which I completely love despite the fact that if I stay unmoving my face will freeze to death at any moment. So due to that I started moving up the road towards school, but just as I did – interrupted in my actions again – I heard the closing of a door out in the distance. I quickly heard it as I’m a strong believer that in the cold you can hear sounds a lot more than during the summer.  You know… vibrations, particles and energies? Yeah. That.

“Hey!” Zoë said trotting towards me and smiling in a white ski-cap and red winter-coat. Her cheeks were amazingly pink in contrast with her fair skin. It’s safe to say that Zoë seemed as glad as me in this weather but I perfectly knew she was dying from both the cold and her mild hatred towards it. “It’s too cold for me to handle today.”

“I think its fine.” I say grinning slightly at the look in her face as she said that. She was completely desperate.

“You’re kidding me.” Zoë said punching my shoulder slightly.

I shook my head in denial, and after a few meters of walking and of silence I turned to look at the dark haired girl next to me with a frown. “And your bike?”

Zoë laughed and shrugged my question off as if the answer was obvious. “Speed equals wind. Winter means cold wind. So I prefer to walk and warm up don’t you think?”

I shrugged back not really being empathetic about that but I guess it was good for her.

As we walked to school together in a common silence during an abnormal occurrence between the two of us, my thoughts could help but jump back towards what Jessica had told me… suggested me to do. Though the more I thought about it the less I could see why I would do that. I don’t like Zoë. Much less have any special feelings for her.

At least, I was sure of that until she grabbed my gloved hand and put her own freezing ones inside it making the fabric stretch a little too much.

I looked down at my hand as I made a move to try to shoo her away but she grabbed my arm  and said “Believe me. I’m as cold as hell could be if it were cold rather than hot. Just be nice cuz you wouldn’t want me getting frostbite would you?”

Her fingers wiggled inside pushing down against my own and I could feel how cold they were and the little shiver they were sending at my nerves. Somehow I felt a knot start raveling itself between my two sets of ribs. It was a strange sensation, almost as if I couldn’t breathe.

“By the way,” Zoë started after getting comfortable in my, unluckily wide enough, glove. “Where’s your trumpet?”

“Went to leave it at the IMT yesterday,” I said looking at the opposite side from her, “after I left your place.”

“That’s convenient.” Zoë said mindlessly.

“Why?” I asked not really getting why she said that.

After a few moments of silence, Zoë moved her fingers just slightly against mine catching my attention towards her face. She grinned slightly even though her eyes were completely shining. “You always carry it in your left hand.”

And with that... With my heart literally skipping a loud beat in my chest after hearing that remark, and my head turning to the side escaping from any possibility that Zoë would see my blushing face - I understood.