STATIC (LGBT)

Chapter 37

Let's just say that... ever since I told Zoë that I love her things between us have taken a step further. Sometimes, when I'm over at her house or she's over at mine. we start making out and we go a little further each time. It's like... I don't know. I mean, I never REALLY thought about it... At some point or another some kind of urge came over us and any wall that I didn't know that existed started to fall down. That's how it is, isn't it?

In any case, to me it was quite obvious that Zoë has had experience in all of this before. From the start she'd been incredibly comfortable in having me sit on top of her, run her hands on some parts of my body, stopping right at the moment when I was starting to feel uncomfortable and then just kissing me... Not that I wanted her to stop... but I've figured that there's a difference between wanting and feeling like it's too much of a new ground to jump into it right away.

In this sense, Zoë was also considerate... like in almost every sense.

“Ahhh....” Zoë sighed as she let herself fall next to me on her bed. Just now she'd been hooking her fingers on my bra but decided to stop because for some reason I was pressing my arms hard against my sides. I didn't mean anything by it...

I felt Zoë's hand on my stomach, just resting there, and the burning heat it transmitted was a lot to keep my mind off the moment.... But when I looked to the side, at Zoë I could tell that she was probably thinking about another thing already... So... I decided to let it rest there until the effect wore off.

I turned on my side making myself close to her. I was already in my Pjs so there was no real problem if I fell asleep right now. I was tired anyways. Just last week we'd finished those exams and I was tired as hell.

“Hey, Alex?” Zoë asked.

I opened my eyes and stared at her blurry image. It was dark but my had adjusted enough to allow me to see her profile.

“Yeah?” I answered back softly.

Zoë stayed quiet for a second and then she leaned in to me and pressed her lips against mine. “I love you a lot, you know that, right?”

“Yeah...” I sighed feeling myself smile, hold her face and kiss her. “I do.”

I felt her smile against my hand. Her cheeks had lifted and I could feel the creases next to her eyes with my fingers... This girl was seriously so beautiful that whenever she starts getting wrinkles, no one will ever blame her for them... like they'll be exactly where her face contorts itself into a smile.

With that feeling still on my hand, Zoë pulled me closer and soon I had fallen asleep.

---

I don't know when it was exactly but I had felt Zoë pull away from me. Then she stirred a lot. Some times she'd turn away from me, sometimes to me and other times she'd look straight up. When I actually DID open my eyes I resented the fact that I needed glasses to see properly.

Zoë was laying on her back, hands intertwined together and set on her stomach. Her wavy hair was now put on a high bun – something she almost never did, only when she had a lot on her mind... I'd only see her do that twice before. Once when she was trying to figure out how to conduct a difficult part in a song and the other time when we had to study for Math and Chemistry (which was really stressful).

I stared a little longer... and it was the right decision rather than speak or move my hand to get my glasses because she then sat up, heaved her legs over me carefully and headed to the bathroom.

I watched as she switched on the light and looked at the silhouette that it formed on the carpeted floor. Zoë stood by the light, her hand kept next to the switch for a few seconds before she moved off... but she didn't close the door... When I heard the water of the sink running, I turned to the night stand next to her bed and grabbed my glasses. I put them on, immediately seeing everything much clearer and sat up.

The water was still running...

I blinked a few times while I considered whether to go over there or wait. I opted for the latter and decided that if she took a long time I'd go over there...

It's not the first time either of us goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night... The thing is how it came to be this time... Zoë couldn't sleep, which was not normal, and she always closes the door when she goes in there for necessities... so it surprised me that she was going in for something else... She migth be washing her face but that would only wake her up even more and she wasn't going to change because she was in her comfortable attire. Pajama pants and a loose tank top...

I stood up quietly and made my way there. I ran my hand through my hair and yawned... It was probably around 1am.

Before I got there, I heard a small bang. That sound you hear when you sit on top fo the toiled lid.

Instead of going right in, I stoicked myself next to the wall and slowly popped my head to the side so that I could see inside... No, I was not spying on my girlfriend. I was just trying to be careful on my approach and because of that, I looked acrossed the mini hallway her closet did before focusing father away, at the actual bathroom.

She was sitting, like I had pressumed, on the toilet seat... but not the way I had expected her to.

Zoë 's elbows where on her knees, her head in her hands. And just by seeing her in that position I felt the hairs in my arm stand up almost as if static was surrounding me. The sound of the water running... the water on her hands making droplets run down her forearms... her hair now loose at the sides of her head... and the trembling of her legs.

“Zoë?” I said but it barely came out louder than a whisper. I gulped and repeated it much louder this time around. “Zoë?”

Immediately, I watched as the trembling stopped and the strong push against her head soften. She didn't turn to me right away though. It took a few seconds. Seconds I used to approach her so that I could see her face clearly whenever she decided to show me.

“Alex...” Zoë mummbled, her voice a little shaky. “Come here.”

“I'm here,” I said and just then, Zoë's arms surrounded my waist and her head still hung down until she pushed her forehead against my stomach...

She's not okay...

She's not okay... What's wrong?... This...

I lowered my arms, which had been up in the air for a few seconds in surprise, and set my hands on her head.

Zoë's... I don't even know what to say right now. I mean, really... I don't. Why...

She...

She looks completely hopeless... I thought... Why? Why so...suddenly? Should I...

“I'm fine...” Zoë said. This time, her voice was back to normal but I could feel her arms shaking around me. “I'm fine...”

No... Don't ask...

And as she seemed to calm down my own mind was starting to reel with thoughts... and a few were concrete enough to make me realized two things. One: That I just noticed how my skills at recognizing messages behind people's behavior has improved over these past few months.. and Two:... That even so... I'd never thought Zoë could act this way... Not in a way which leads me to believe that I really...that there's something...

No... I don't...Sigh... I don't know what's going on.

This is most definitely not normal.