Better Off Away (BOOK 2)(Wattys2016)

It Was A Mistake

We start for the cars and I try to change my attitude to be better, but that goes flying out the window as soon as I notice that the Porsche is among the taxis going into the City.

I stop in my tracks and shake my head. "Hell, no. Not a chance."

Lola looks at me, hip cocked and eyebrow raised. "Macey," She says warningly in a singsong tone.

"Why must I ride with him?" I feel my jaw clench involuntarily. My eyes move to see Jack, hovering by the door of his Porsche, watching the exchange between Lola and me.

"Because I am making you." She says smugly.

"Really?" I scoff. "That's all you have?"

"That's all I need, Macey. Now go." She shoves me gently towards the car and I roll my eyes once more before trudging off towards the Porsche.

***

I pause outside the door, knowing this ride will be pure hell. I hate him so much. But I know that deep within me, I still have an equal part of like for him - maybe even more than equal. I let my hand rest on the door handle and I count to three before climbing into the car.

There's a small silence and then, he goes and says it: "Sweetness."

I close my eyes, a shaky breath leaving my diaphragm. "Jack," I say it softly, longingly, but the words that follow are anything but. "I told you already. Please, don't try anymore. Mia is the girl for you."

Jack abruptly hits the steering wheel, anger simmering over him. "Damn it, Macey. Please don't bring her up. God, I will respect your decision to stay away from me if she isn't the only reason. Give me another reason and I'll leave you alone."

I look at him, shocked that he has come forward with his thoughts so abruptly. "I can't be with you, Jack. I can't be in a constant lie."

That came out way too close to the truth. I can't reveal the contract. Shit. Why do I have to ramble?

"You... don't like me?" His voice has more hurt than I can bear.

I slowly shake my head. "That's just it, Jack. I like you too much."

"God damn it, Sweetness. You don't make sense for a f*ckin second." Anger trembles in his voice and I feel cramped all of a sudden. The car is more of a cage than I realized. A cage I can't seem to ever escape.

"Jack, please. This is all too much for me. I don't even know why you like me. I'm a terrible person. I'm everything you don't stand for." The words spill out of me, despite the fact that I need to follow the contract. I should be lying to him - telling him I want him. But isn't that a double lie? I want him, but I shouldn't and yet, I must tell him that. I'm confused myself to be honest.

"Sweetness," Jack speaks, his voice gentle as he reaches across the car, coming near me in a split second, "you're everything I want. You are chasing your dream. You are living carefree. Can't you see, I like you because you aren't like any of the fake girls I've known in the past? You didn't fall head over heels for me and that's why I like you. I like you because you're different."

I close my eyes, willing myself to hold in the emotion that wants to spill out of me. This is all so wrong. How did I get myself into this mess? I need to clear my mind. I need to follow my mind - not my heart. Because Jack will learn about all the lies and when he does, he won't want to stick around for one more moment. Suddenly, Mia will look more brilliant and carefree than I ever would.

But when I open my eyes, I notice just how close Jack has gotten to me and he's not the one that closes the distance - I am.

***

I press my lips into Jack's, not really sure of what I'm doing. My fingers find themselves weaving into his hair and roaming across his back as his tongue presses into my mouth, taking full control of the kiss. I melt against him, craving these moments. His arms wrap around my waist, taking me in his hold. I arch against him, pulling away and he kisses my jaw, tracing lines down my neck. My breathing is shallow and I pull away completely, knowing to kiss him in the first place was a mistake.

"Jack... I... that... I shouldn't have done that." I shake my head, pressing my fingers to my lips in an attempt to stop the buzzing. Jack's eyes are wild and his lips are parted as he breathes heavily. I shake my head and look away, unable to see the pain of rejection in his eyes.

"I... Sweetness... What the hell?" Tension rises within the car in a split second and it's almost as if I can cut it with a knife, it's so thick.

"Jack, it was a mistake." My voice trembles, but I have to say that. I can't do this.

"What, Sweetness? The kiss? Or falling for me? Damn it, Macey. Give me another reason and I'll let it be." His words cut at me, knowing that this is when I have to do it. This is when I have to pick up the trail of lies and take hold of the contract.

"I can't like you... because I need to focus on my dream. I need to focus on this internship. And you detest this world of Publishing. How could I ever love a man that hates my dream?" The words are poison, filling my mouth and spilling out - an oily, slick lie.

Jack doesn't respond. He only sucks in a sharp breath and peels the Porsche away from the curb, turning the car into complete silence for the entire ride.