Better Off Away (BOOK 2)(Wattys2016)

Chasing Down My Future

Two days before Larkin and Gemma are supposed to leave and I'm supposed to return to New York, there's a going away party for Gemma and Larkin. All of their family and friends gather at the Lawrence household, sending them off with warm wishes and envelopes of money to help along the way.

I spend most of my time in the background, hoping no one notices me and asks me my plans for the future. The party winds down, until it's only the Lawrence's, Larkin, Olive, Dean and Eddie. We're all gathered around the campfire that's lit in the backyard, surveying the party and agreeing it was successful.

I clear my throat, knowing that this time, I'm going to the be one to tell everyone that I'm leaving. I look at each of them in turn. "I'm returning to New York City and I wanted all of you to know."

There's a small lapse of silence, each person taking in the news and processing it. Finally, Gemma clears her throat and asks, "When do you leave, Mace?"

"I leave the same day you and Larkin head out for France."

Everyone nods, and they all ask me my plans. I let them know I'm going to live with Izzy and attend NYU for writing and business. They congratulate me and the conversation continues, trailing off into other topics. I realize for all of them, the excitement has worn off. I've already been to New York City and come back – and to them, this is the same as the first. But I know better. I know I'm different and so is this trip.

I take some of the food dishes into the kitchen counter, helping clean up. As I'm about to bring more in, Gemma and Larkin pull me aside – a united team as usual.

Larkin smiles at me, only a tinge of the worry he has for me remaining now."Are you going back to New York because of Jack?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm not chasing Jack anymore. If he wants me he'll come after me or fate will lead us back together. For now.... I'm just going to take it moment by moment."

"But won't Jeremiah try to find you?" Gemma asks.

I shake my head. "Jeremiah died. It's all hush hush right now, but he died a few days ago. Lola told me."

Larkin frowns, but then smiles, giving me a side hug. "We're happy for you, Macey. We want the best for you."

I smile as well, my eyes welling. This is it. We're all going to be leaving in two days. "I know, Larkin. And I want the best for you guys. Even if that means you being in Europe, having adventures without me."

***

The day comes for me to return back to New York City and I feel a mixture of excitement, anticipation and nerves. It's hard to get used to the fact that months have passed and this time I'm going to the City for a completely different reason.

My family drives me to the airport, my siblings excited to be a part of this new chapter in my life. Looking back on the last time I left, I see how much I was trying to escape my childhood, my family and my home. I thought I was better off away, but clearly I still need my home. I'll always need it, but I won't always be there. And I might not always be in the City. No matter where I am, I'll always have my home to return to.

When we arrive at the airport my parents hug me goodbye, as do my siblings. Holden smiles at me lopsidedly, his hair swooping across his forehead. "Don't forget about us this time, Macey."

I feel my heart become heavy as I realize, he missed me. "Don't worry, Holden. This time will be different. I promise."

My parents tell me how proud they are and I tell them I love them and that I'll miss them. And I know I will. I'll miss them more than anything because they are my home.