Better Off Away (BOOK 2)(Wattys2016)

The Creal Ordeal

It was strange to be going to a party back in West Brook just a little after being home for barely seven hours. I'm jetlagged and heartbroken, but I know I have to keep moving. It feels like I've stepped back into Kansas after being to the Emerald City. How do I return to West Brook and forget New York City? How did Dorothy forget the Wizard and how am I supposed to forget my once golden boy?

Walking up to Dean Levy's house was like stepping into my past. I had Olive and Gemma on either side of me, the three of us looking gorgeous as ever. But everything was different. For once I was the single one who didn't want to come to the party, but did out of duty and loyalty. I was actually surprised when Gemma volunteered to come along with us since she had such a strong distaste for alcohol, but the party is at Dean's house. And Dean and Larkin have become really good friends since graduation - strange friendship considering Dean was Gemma's boyfriend right before Larkin, but a strong friendship nevertheless.

I made myself put on one of my dresses that I bought to go clubbing in during my time in the City. I never got to where it there, and although it's way overdressing, I wear it to Dean's.

It is bold and brassy: a skin tight dress made of silver material that accented my curves and shows off my legs. It's a dress that made me feel invincible when I tried it on, but now I just feel broken. I feel like a fake.

I'm not the same girl I was one month ago, let alone when I was in high school.

Olive nudges me as we walk up to Dean's house which has music pulsing from its walls and light filling every window. I can already hear people with their drunken laughter and over-confident pick-up lines. I get a glimpse into why Gemma is annoyed and fed up with under aged drinking.

We, as teenagers, too often use it as an excuse to make a fool out of ourselves. We cover our lack of confidence with alcohol and blame it on insobriety.

We never grow up. Or we grow up too quickly.

"What's up?" O asks me, nudging again.

I shrug my shoulders causing my curled hair to shift. "It feels weird being back here. I'm supposed to be successful. At Graduation they all heard where I was going. And now I'm here. I failed, Olive."

Olive scowls. "You didn't fail, Mace... I don't know Jack. I don't know all that you went through while at Creal or with him... I can tell you're different; I can tell you've aged. You've lived in the real world and I think a part of me envies you for being able to come out from it alive. Maybe even more alive than before."

Gemma wraps an arm around me from my other side. "I think it's time you enjoyed your last summer of complete... freedom. Forget about the Creal Ordeal. Live it up and come next week, or next month even... then, we'll figure out you future."

The Creal Ordeal – that's what they see all of it as. They don't see Jack as a person or my feelings as real. Jack is the moon to them, discovered, but not by them. They don't know what it's like to leave foot prints in the moon and they don't know what it's like to see the City, while in the arms of the man you love.

The Creal Ordeal.

Maybe it's best left known as a mystery.

I smile at my best friends as we near the door to Dean's house. "Okay... you're right."

As we walk into the party and begin having a good time with the friends we've had for years, I realize what's still bothering me: a new awareness that needles me away at my skin and presses against my heart.

Some dreams are wrong. For example, my dream to work at Creal and to be in Publishing was completely wrong.

Some dreams are false. Some dreams are lost. And some are only dreams.

I've always had my future filled with plans and dreams. I knew I wanted to be in Publishing from the time I was in  ninth grade on, but now, for the first time, I have no plans or dreams whatsoever.

I'm living minute by minute.

Although I am broken, I feel free. I am liquid gold and I am free.

***

Somehow I make it outside of the party and into the night air, where the stars sparkle like diamonds and the ocean like broken glass. I settle down on the edge of the grass, where it meets the sand in a mishmash of blades and minuscule grains.

The music of the party seems to fade from my mind and I just listen to the nothingness, the blank air of life. Life has really shaken up my plans and I can't help but wonder why. Why did I have to even go to Creal? Why did I sign the contract for Jeremiah? Why did I fall for Jack? Why did I really have to leave him?

Suddenly the sand and grass shifts and I turn my head to see Gemma, holding out an empty red solo cup. I take it from her and she wordlessly fills it with cheap wine from the bottle she holds in her other hand. I give her a funny look as I sip on the cheap-tasting drink.

"What?" She asks, nestling the bottle into the sand between us.

"You... You don't believe in drinking and yet you're getting me to drink."

She shrugs. "I don't like drinking for many reasons. I don't like that people become idiots. I don't like that it's the cause of a lot of emptiness and depression. But," She looks at me and then wraps her fingers around the bottle and swirls the remaining wine in the bottom of the bottle. "I think in this case, the one thing I like about it is its ability to make one forget."

"You think I should just forget and move on?" I ask, sipping the drink again.

"I think Creal screwed you over and messed you up, Macey. I hate seeing you like this. And I think that, yes. Maybe you should just forget and find a new way to success." She gives me a sad smile, one that holds love for me and sorrow in equal part. "I'll even join in the forgetting, even though I hate it, I'll drink."

Gemma tilts the bottle up after pressing it to her lips and downs a gulp and then two. She pulls away and makes a face. "God, how do you guys do this? This tastes so cheap."

I laugh and down the rest of my cup. "After a while you forget."

Maybe Gemma is right. Maybe it's time I forget the golden boy and return to West Brook. If Dorothy could do it, certainly I can too?

•••

A/N: Hey guys! So sorry that this is a super late update! My life got so crazy busy and this just got placed on the back burner.

Thanks for understanding and being patient.

On the side is a pic of Macey's dress.

Update: Soon - very soon. Either today or tomorrow.

Love always, Samantha XO