Better Off Away (BOOK 2)(Wattys2016)

An Escape

It's almost as if something new has taken place in me in the days that follow my first writing experience. I pour over books, reading poetry like I've never done before. I swallow the Brontë sisters' work down and then follow it with Virginia Woolf's works.

I eat the words up and I soak it all in, never really letting it fade from my mind. Words seem to take on a new form for me and I realize they are molding themselves to my heart, never letting me forget Jack, never letting me forget the love I had with him, but making me whole once again.

I read their words and I am inspired to write my emotions out on the page. Sometimes, I'm propelled to write pages and pages while other times, it's only a fragment, a line strung together and placed on paper before the thought flits away.

You are chasing your dream. You are living carefree.

A certain liberation comes with each line that I write down. I take each paper or slip of paper that I write on and sticky tack it to my bedroom wall. At first, it's just a small little pool of papers floating on a seemingly random spot, but then, as the days continue the papers spread until they take up an entire wall of my bedroom.

Light filtered over me, you showed me the world and I was yours. I could face anything with that knowledge, anything but the truth.

I leave from work, nearly a week after Gemma and Larkin's proposition, and head for Larkin's house where the gang is supposed to meet up for some relaxed fun. When I arrive from walking, I see a car pull up to the curb and I narrow my eyes to see Olive talking to a guy who's in the drivers seat. She looks shaken up as she climbs out of the car hurriedly and rushes across the street towards the Knight household. I meet her on the side walk, but not before taking a good look at the guy in the car.

He has handsome looks: sandy brown hair, broad frame, dark eyes and tannish skin. He's extremely handsome, but his face is set in an angry expression as he speeds away. I'm left wondering how often his face isn't in an angry expression. I turn to Olive who looks to be on the verge of tears, but once she spots me, she forces a smile with practiced ease and it's almost as if there was no sadness there to begin with.

I look at her questioningly, a slight frown on my face. "Who was that, O?"

She smiles in a girlish way and a blush touches her cheeks. "That was Levi. Sorry he couldn't meet you – he's late to work."

"Is that why he was angry?" I ask as we slowly make our way to the door.

She shrugs, looking at me innocently. "Oh, just upset, not angry... Hey, do you know what we're doing tonight?"

I shake my head, wondering why she was so quick to change the subject. "No, just that Larkin asked me to come over."

Her eyes get wide and she stops just before the doorway, her hand catching my arm. "You don't think they got engaged or anything do you?"

My eyes grow wide as I consider the possibility of Gemma and Larkin being engaged. "Oh my word..." Then I think it through and I'm nearly positive they aren't engaged. "No, I don't think they are. I feel like Larkin would have hinted something to us. I'm sure they just want to hang out. Besides, both of them are so focused on going to France and if Larkin is going to propose, I feel like he should do it in the City of Romance."

Olive giggles, "That does make sense."

We enter the Knight house and find Larkin and Gemma with the rest of the gang: Clive, Dean and Eddie. They're all sitting on the floor, laughing at something Larkin just said. Gemma's rolling her eyes as she sits with her back pressed to his side.

Clive looks up at us first and gives a small hoot. "Look who finally made it!"

I smile at everyone as Olive sits between Eddie and Clive and Larkin hops up from next to Gemma, lithely hopping over the others to stand next to me. He smiles at me and then looks at the other, quickly asking, "Anyone need refills on drinks? Macey's helping me, right?"

I nod slowly, joining him in the kitchen after Gemma asks for more chocolate milk. I can't help but think that the two of them had this planned ahead of time – like they're cornering me into being in the kitchen alone with Larkin.

And right I am – as soon as we are both in the kitchen and laughter peels from the living room – Larkin speaks up. "Hey, Mace?"

"Yeah, Larkin?" I grab a cup out of the cupboard and Larkin passes me the chocolate milk while closing the refrigerator.

"How are your plans coming? Have you decided what you want to do in the fall? Gemma and I want you to know the offer for France still stands."

I finish pouring the milk for Gemma, trying to figure out when Larkin became as close a friend to me as Gemma and Olive. I realize, with a smile tugging at my face, that Larkin is as close to me as the girls are and that Gemma belongs with him if he's willing to put up with me.

I clear my throat, capping the jug of milk. "I've been... writing quite a bit."

Larkin's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Really!?" It's not mockery in his tone, but pure interest and pride. I remember Gemma mentioning how much Larkin loves to write – and read.

"Yeah, mostly poetry, but it helps get a lot of....emotion off my chest." I look carefully at Larkin as he nods in understanding and I act on an impulse to open up to him even more. "I still love Jack. I'll never stop loving him, Larkin. You and Gemma keep saying that I'll move on, but I never will. I know I can't be with him – not now that he hates me. But I still... I still love him." I smile, though it's edged with sadness and shadowed by golden memories.

Larkin frowns, putting the milk jug back into the refrigerator. "Then wouldn't it be better if you just found someone else? It may not be the same love as what you had with the Creal guy, but it could be love all the same."

I shake my head, adamant with my point. "Imagine if you lied to Gemma and broke her heart; imagine you lost her because of your own mistakes. Would that take your love away? It hasn't taken my love for Jack away. It's a punishment of sorts. And I don't think time or distance or even his hate will take it away either."

"But, Macey, you'll be miserable if you think that way." Larkin's worry for me is more palpable than ever before and I envy his naivety on the matter. Broken hearts aren't easily mended. Even with time and distance.

I smile, somewhat bitterly. "I deserve to be miserable, Larkin. I broken his heart and I pushed him into... into a cage built by his own father..." I sigh, regretting that I brought all these emotions to the surface again. I can't seem to cap them down into a controllable mass. Bringing up Jack is like opening Pandora's Box for me. Emotions of all kinds go flying everywhere and soon, I become lost in it all.

I bite down on my lip, regaining my composure and looking at Larkin carefully. "I just wish that I could change it. I wish I could set him free from his father."

An idea suddenly sparks in the recesses of my mind and hope ignites the spark into a wildfire. I glance at the clock on the kitchen microwave – I need to start now. "Sorry, Larkin, but I have to go home. I have an idea to set him free."

Larkin looks skeptical. "Don't be rash, Macey. I don't want you to get your hopes up over nothing. I don't want your heart broken all over again."

I smile, happier than I've been in weeks. I don't deserve Jack's love for me – I know I've broken it. But I want him to be happy and I don't think he'll ever be able to achieve that if he's with his father and Mia.

Jack needs an escape from this cage I've locked him in. And I think I can give him the key that fits the lock.

All I need to do is find Max Creal.

•••

A/N: Hey guys :)

Hope you enjoyed the update. On the side is a picture of Liam Hemmsworth as Olive's boyfriend, Levi.

Update: between Saturday and Tuesday

Love always, Samantha XO