Better Off Away (BOOK 2)(Wattys2016)

A Call Home

Jeremiah is scowling, clearly pissed off. "I think it's time for you to head back to you room, Ms. Littlefield."

Jack stands up, suddenly more tense and rigid through his entire stance. "Father, must you be this way?"

Jeremiah arches an eyebrow and opens the doorway wider. "Ms. Littlefield, please leave."

Jack growls in frustration and agitatedly runs a hand through his hair. "Sweetness, I –"

"Jack, perhaps he's right. I'll see you tomorrow." I stand on tiptoes and kiss Jack's cheek before walking out of the room, past Jeremiah.

The moment I reach the hallway the door to Jack's bedroom is snapped shut and I'm left alone, in the cool air of the hallway. I let out a shuddering breath and lean against the wall, trying to return my breathing to normal. The wall feels cool beneath me and I feel my heartbeat slow down as I get my bearings on the past few hours of the night.

"What am I doing?" I ask myself in a hushed whisper.

I flinch, when suddenly there is a loud crash from right behind the wall I'm leaned against. Things are clearly not going well with Jack and his father. A moment later I hear Jack, a string of curses strung at his father.

I take it as my cue to leave and head back to the Lavender Room. When I reach it, I'm glad not to find Lola, waiting with bated breath to hear about my night. Rather, she's sound asleep and leaves me to my own thoughts, which may just be even worse than being questioned.

As I lay in my bed, thoughts brooding through my mind, I come to the simple conclusion: I must end the contract with Jeremiah. And the only way to accomplish that is by fulfilling it. Jack is almost there – all that's left is a simple nudge.

***

The next morning I wake with a splitting headache and the moment I open my eyes I'm struck with an upset stomach. I throw back the sheets and duvet and rush to the bathroom, falling to my knees in front of the toilet just in time to empty the contents of my stomach.

And as the contents of last night come rushing back, so do the memories.

Sadly, I wasn't drunk enough to forget all that happened; only drunk enough to be sick.  I finish my sickness and then brush my teeth, a pounding headache still beating in my head. I grab the bottle of Advil from my toiletry bag and down a couple pills with a glass of water. I'm so glad it's a Sunday because I honestly couldn't handle being made to go to work like this.

I head back to my bed, looking over to see that Lola isn't in hers – strange. She is definitely not the morning type.

I crawl back beneath my duvet and settle in, closing my eyes and suppressing the events of last night – or at least trying to. All I can remember are the moments of me being terribly deceiving and leading Jack on, asking him to drink and then teasing him on the dance floor. No wonder it went as far as it did. I'm just glad it stopped when it did.

I wonder what happened between Jeremiah and Jack after I left last night. Surely, nothing good came from it. Those two are like fire and water – vinegar and oil. I know there's a past to all of it, something big had to have happened for Jack to hate his father so much. The only clue I have is that it all traces back to London and when Jack left. Why hasn't he returned and why hasn't his father?

Damn, this isn't helping the headache one bit. I open my eyes, facing defeat over the matter of trying to catch more sleep. I check my phone: it's already ten o'clock. Perhaps I should call home to take my mind off of matters. I know my mother will kill me – I haven't contacted her since the first couple days and even then it was just a few texts here or there.

I take a shower and do my morning routine: hair, makeup, dressing. It's all comfy clothes and simple makeup, but even the slowness of the routine is calming. By the time I finish all of it, it's already ten-thirty and I know my mom will be up because she always goes to Church on Sundays.

I pull out my phone and open FaceTime, sending a call to her. Almost immediately she answers and her face appears, a huge scowl etched into her features.

"Macey Littlefield, you should be ashamed of yourself." She says with her lips pursed.

You have no idea.

I frown, knowing she has a right to be upset. "I know, mom. I'm sorry. You've no idea how crazy hectic it's been for me."

She frowns even more, but this time it isn't disappointment, but worry that causes the expression. "Honey, you look so down. What's wrong?"

"I... I don't really know. Actually, I do, but it's hard to explain." I've always been close to my mother – close enough to tell her about just about anything during high school. But these troubles that I'm having with Creal and Jeremiah and Jack all seem so much bigger than the trivial problems I faced back home.

"Macey, hon, I want you to know that you don't have to do this. You don't have to be in publishing. I never thought in a million years I would say this, but honey, you don't have to take on the world. I know as you grew up you were always certain of what you were doing and I loved – I love that about you."

I feel myself becoming emotional as the seconds tick by and I bite down on my lip, urging my mom to continue, "But?"

"But, honey, don't for one second let this place change you... because you are one of the best people I have ever known. You are strong and beautiful. Don't for one second lower yourself for a job that isn't fit for you."

"Mom, I don't know what else I can do... When we visited here in the winter, this place seemed like it had all the answers and now... now I wonder if it isn't a dream come true. What if I'm not fit for Creal?" Tears well in my eyes as I admit this and for some reason I'm surprised by all of this sudden revelation. What if I'm not meant for Publishing? I chose it because when my options were placed before me, it was the one place that offered success on a silver platter. So, I chose Creal. But what if success isn't the path I should be looking for? Maybe, just maybe, I need to happen among success by being true to myself and if I don't become "successful" at least I'd be true to myself.

"Macey, you will succeed. I know the pressure has always been on you, but darling, don't for one second think I will be disappointed if you come home without a scholarship. If it's the City you're after, we can arrange for you to attend NYU and live with Isabelle. You don't need to worry about living expenses – just focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be. I'm not telling you what to do, darling... I'm telling you to think about it and decide."

"Thanks, mom. I should have called you the first week when this all came falling down." I smile, wiping my eyes and face.

"Darling, I mean it. I love you and I could never stop. Just be true to yourself, okay?"

If being true to me means finishing the contract and cutting ties with Jack then so be it. I can't keep losing myself to this position – it's just not worth it.

•••

A/N: sorry it's a late update! Completely forgot to yesterday!

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On the side is a video cos I love 5SOS and I have nothing else to put there.

Update: ?

Love always, Samantha XO