lights out. Beckys p.o.v

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I sigh as I sit beside brad Williams on a park bench, the guy that I've had the hugest crush on for over a year. My hands are folded as I look over at him nervously. And he rolls his eyes and kind of laughs. "Are you alright? You look kind of out of it right now..."

"Yeah, im alright." I nod, but its a lie, I haven't slept in three days and its starting to show. Nomatter how many lies I tell, or how many smiles I fake, nomatter how much makeup I wear to cover up the dark circles beneath my eyes. Im starting to crack and im starting to lose myself and im terrified that its becoming more and more visible just how very lost I have become.

"I missed you, though..." I gulp as I bravely look up into his brown eyes and he runs his fingers through his messy blonde hair, laughs and looks away.

"Oh yeah?" He laughs once more. "Well show me." He leans in to kiss me and his breath smells like weed and whiskey as he bites my lip and touches my leg, my stomach turns and I flench and gently push him away.

"Really? What the fuck Becky?" He snickers. "I waited here for you for like a half an hour,and now you're acting like this...."

"I know.., and I'm sorry, but can't we just talk? I'm not feeling that great.. I'm sorry I don't mean to disappoint you." My eyes begin to swell up with tears as he swings his bag over his shoulders and begins to storm away.

"fuck this... You're on some weird shit, I'm not your 'talking buddy' I'm not your 'friend' I'm definitely not your boyfriend, and I dont have time for this bullshit, goodbye" he smirks at me winks and waves goodbye ,and tears begin to roll down my cheeks. I should just let him walk away without saying a single word, I shouldn't even care, but I do. And it kills me just how much I do care and just how badly his careless actions tair me up inside.

"You dont even fucking care!" I shout at him with tears in my eyes as I watch him walk away.

"Why should I care?" He turns around and laughs.

"Because, you treat me like I'm not even a person with feelings, you treat me like you can just pick me up and drop me whenever you feel like it, and that's messed up, and I don't think that you even care just how messed up it is." I cry out, there is a lump in my throat and i feel like i can't breathe.

"Do you ever shut the fuck up? You're not going to make me feel bad for you. I'm done..." He laughs sadistically. Then suddenly he jumps as if he is startled looking to his left and his whole demeanor changes, and I look at him in confusion, my cheeks stained with tears. He puts his hands up in fear as if he is telling someone to back away from him, his eyes wide with fear. But there is no one in this park besides us.

"Brad, whats wrong?" I tilt my head and squint my tired eyes.

"Stay the fuck away from me!" He shouts hysterically, he frantically begins to run and he runs straight into the street, not even noticing the car speeding toward him, it hits him and I scream bloody murder as I watch his body fly through the Air and hit the pavement. I run to him and his face is head is drenched in blood from where his head hit the pavement and there is blood leaking from his ears as he cries "please stop..."

I feel his pulse, and it is fading as people gather around his almost lifeless body including the driver who is in panic with his hand over his eyes, as if it is just too much to take in. "Fuck!!!" The driver shouts. "Why would he just run out into the street like that?"

"Please stop..." Brad cries once more as if he is in some sort of trance and blood begins to pour from his mouth and as I hold his wrist in worry suddenly there is no pulse.

"Oh my god, somebody help!" I cry and I scream bloody murder as an ambulance approaches but it is far too laight.

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