Chapter 9

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Zane's POV:

     ............... I really did make a big fool of myself, didn't I?

     ...... Yes, I did. And now, Xandra hates me.

     Permanently.

     She's avoiding me and it's driving me insane. She's practically the only person I can talk to and I just had to end everything with a stupid, stupid question.

     Splendid.

     "You've been standing outside for long time," Gerald comments, raising his eyebrow strangely. There are some times when he acts so much like Garroth that I just want to murder his face off. Call me a coward, but seeing someone actually like my older brother is irritating and.... something else.

     Shaking my head at my stupid emotions, I just shrug my shoulders in response to his question. Since breakfast, I went outside to sit on the front stairs, staring into space, counting the moving vehicles that Xandra calls "cars" that passed by.

     "Xandra still mad at you?"

     Another shrug. If you want a person to stop talking to you without sounding rude, just act like you don't seem interested in what they're saying and just nod or shrug to their questions or sentence.

     At least, it worked before.

     "And what exactly are you going to do about that?"

     Shrug. Don't get mad, Zane.

     A sigh escapes his mouth. "Xandra's checking out the new episode of Minecraft Diaries Season 2, she and Kirsty have been fussing over it for awhile."

     I know that. Xandra seems pretty obsessed over this Minecraft Diaries thing I was in, saying something strange like "inZane" instead of "insane" and bursting out laughing out of nowhere. The girl's crazy, but she's good company.

     Gerald sighs again, before abruptly sitting right next to me, staring out into the streets also. I feel disgusted, but I keep my emotions buried. If I engage in a battle with the older brother, the younger sister will surely be the death of me.

     For a while, it's just us two, staring out in the middle of nowhere, the zooming of the cars making our hair fly in the same direction. For once in my life, I feel peaceful, as if my world wasn't consisted of backstabbing friendships and killing people.

     That is what you are suppose to do right now, no matter what world you are in.

     I shiver. That voice. I thought it was gone for good, but I guess I am proven wrong.

     Xandra said I wouldn't be able to make any progress even if I tried because-

     Why listen to that girl anyway? She's pathetic.

     No, she's not. She's more better than pathetic. Much more.

     "I know you probably hate me," Gerald suddenly states out the obvious, his eyes still on the road, "Because I look like Garroth. Hell, my name even starts with 'g'."

     I shrug again. I can talk about anything, but my brother right now. Not wven this voice is wandering around in my head.

     I realized that you were slipping too far away from the mission you setted out originally. I returned in order to get you back.

     .... I am?

     Don't ask foolish. I know you realized that a long time ago. Perhaps maybe you did that on purpose.

     Maybe he is right, perhaps I am slipping away on purpose. Perhaps I need to go back...

     "But I want to... thank you for making my sister... happy again. She never smiled that much, more or less laughed so hard in her life. Minecraft Diaries was her only safe haven to go to besides her friends before you came by. I know you're a jerk and everything, but at least you have a heart to be kind enough to take care of my sister for me."

     A heart? Ha, don't make me laugh. Love is weak, remember that Zane.

     Love never worked out for me.

     That's because love never works out the way you wanted it to.

     I was foolish to fall for it.

     No, you weren't falling for love, you were falling to that GIRL!

     What? No, not Xandra.

     "You have no idea how relieved I am to see my sister actually having fun without me driving her insane. Ever since our parents left us alone, she stopped being sociable, she never allowed anybody to come at least an arm's length from her. I swear she pretends everything's fine, but she knows it's not. I try to make her happy again, but all she does is hide farther away from me. She doesn't open up to me anymore until a few months ago when she first started making friends again. And it was all because of Minecraft Diaries."

     Heh, Xandra sounds more and more like me everyday.

     Don't listen to your heart, listen to me. I will lead you to a brighter path than this, you stuck in a CHILD's house with no way to go. I will promise you a better life.

     You promised me that already, and look where it got me too.

     It doesn't matter. Come back to the evil side, the better side.

     "Please, take care of Xandra for me." Gerald turns to look at me full in the eye and I am shocked to see Garroth there. His icy blue eyes like mine are serious and he is no longer smiling. All business, just like my brother. "I don't care what you did before, just take care of Xandra for me. She needs help, no matter how much she protests. She can take care of herself physically, yes, but on the inside, she's dying. That's why I'm so over-protective of her, that's why I was so hostile to you the first time you came into her room. I don't want her heart to break anymore than it is."

     Don't listen to him. He is wrong.

     How should you know?

     You dare try to defy me?

     Why not? You never helped me ever. If I nearly got killed, you just tell me to get up and ignore the pain. But these people that you call 'children' actually care if I go hungry or if I don't have a place to stay.

     But I never actually did anything special to return the favor. I just took advantage of everything, as I usually do. It's nice knowing I'm doing something productive for once.

     I stare out into the streets again, wondering what the people thought inside of those contraptions when they see two boys, merely adults, just sitting out in front of a house, staring right back at them. They probably think we're just hanging out, while in reality, the topic is dead serious. Heh, funny how everything changes when you change the eyes you are looking through.

     For the last time, come back to me.

     Not yet, not now. I need to know what it is like to be...... good for once before coming back to you. I need to know the two perspectives before deciding.

     Fine. If that's what you want, then go right on ahead. Be my guest, but I warn you, I will not take this lightly...

     Stupid Shadow Lord.

     I turn back to Gerald and give him a reassuring smile. At least somebody gets to have a brother who actually cares for his siblings. "Don't worry. Xandra will be fine with me."

     I want her to teach me what it is like to be on the good side, to show me a whole entire different perspective in life.  


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