Chapter 19

202 8 2
                                    

Zane's POV:

Pain. Constant pain. Torture. Torture of not knowing what's going on. The way she fell to the ground like a fallen angel, how blank her eyes were when there should have been innocence and light in them. Everything was in a complete blur- Gerald yelling loud enough for Myra to come running in again, her face so pale and fragile, Kirsty starting to cry, and Sunny calling some people called the "police" on her phone.

As for me, I stopped shaking her and sank to my knees, my world darkening all over again.

When my only candle flickered out, I was left with nothing but emptiness.

I'm right back to where I started without her.

Alone.

Afraid.

Broken.

"Zane."

I don't look up. I know what she wants and I refuse to do so. Sitting here in this pathetic waiting room in a place called a "hospital" when Xandra is whisked off to who knows where. Ridiculous.

"Zane Ro'meave, I swear to Lady Irene that if you're trying to ignore me-"

I glare up at Kirsty, my eyes slowly glowing a bright crimson color. Sinister voices echo in my ear, climbing and crawling into my mind, poisoning and decaying slowly without any light to chase off the dark. "What you're going to do then? Kill me? I like to see you try."

The young girl's eyes immediately grow worried and fearful. I almost smirk, a dark thought popping in my head. You should be scared, little girl.

"Zane, you need to calm down. Xandra's going to be alright. She just fainted... that's all," Kirsty explains, playing with her sweater sleeves in an age-old habit of her's.

I want to laugh at her. She just fainted? More like the Shadow Lord took over her mind. I knew. The moment her eyes became glassy, I knew. I heard the blasted man laugh in my head, told me that she was long gone. That she would never recover again.

It's all my damn fault. If I haven't befriended Xandra- haven't loved her so much, then maybe she would have been safer.

"She's dead. She's dead to me anyway." I stand up, my knuckles turning completely white. I survey the room one last time- Sunny sitting on the chairs playing with the plastic cups, Gerald pacing around like a lost animal, Myra talking to the doctor a few feet away, and Kirsty giving me a startled look. Out of place. Everything's out of place. I can't take it.

"Zane, what are you-"

I rush out of the hospital in a flash, the cold winter air drilling me with adrenaline to continue forward. I feel stares coming from the people walking by, their lives so innocent and naive of what's going on in front of their very own eyes.

Mother of Irene, people, a girl is suffering because of me. I'm a criminal. Why isn't anyone stopping me? I continue to run, repeating that question over and over in my mind, bouncing it around dark walls, the only thing trapped in a dark void of nothingness.

I've only been outside of the house four times, but I know the city like it's O'khasis even though San Francisco's bigger. I weave through the crowd of onlooking people, wanting to punch every curious face that looks at me.

"What an odd person."

"He's probably taking a long run, release some extra calories, ha."

"That's San Francisco for you, you get all kinds of people."

I made a girl suffer. I made a girl suffer. Why don't you people stop me?! Why?! All of those why questions that have been repeating in my mind ever since I noticed that there was something wrong with me. Why does everyone look at me weirdly? Why can't I talk to someone properly without sounding like a lunatic? Why am I not like other people?

I laugh at myself as I head into the San Francisco Bridge. I laugh and laugh and ignore the weird stares. I'm funny. Ridiculous. What am I doing here? What am I doing with my life with a bunch of teenagers? I'm not moving anywhere. I depend on them too much- a burden on their shoulder. And yet I still stay. Pathetic.

Why am I not like other people?

Leaning against the metal frame, I stare at the teal blue of the ocean water in a transfixed way, the gentle waves lapping at the bridge's legs. I always wondered, what death felt like. If I could simply just hoist myself on the other side of the frame and just- let go. If I let go, will all of my worries disappear? Will I become just like everyone else? Am I so desperate that I now think that death might solve my problems?

"Find someone that can make you smile real big. So big that no one will know you're even you!"

I open my eyes suddenly, the image of my sweet little sister appearing in my mind. Wow. She always believed in me, always thought that I could do better than people thought of me, always made me feel like I was loved. Her laughter when Garroth lifts her up in a piggy back ride, her smile when she somehow finds a way to make me laugh at one of her corny jokes, her mischievous snickering when she noticed how nervous I was around Raven. Wow.

I can't let her down. Not when I already did so once.

"Promise me that you won't fall into the darkness again. Escape it, leave it. Abandon it completely. Do whatever you do to become good. Because, Zane... I know you have a kind heart. I know you do. Please, become good, please, don't kill people any longer. Don't."

"Xandra..."

"Promise me that, and I will promise you that too."

I smile at that memory- how far away it seems, how much progress we gotten, how much closer we are now. I will always be horrible at keeping promises- I break them and then I mend them, but it's alright. I'm not perfect and neither is Xandra. Nobody is really. And she understands- that's why makes her special.

She understands me.

Why am I not like other people?

And I imagine Xandra saying this to me in response- "Because Zane, you are special. Someone who doesn't need to act normal to be himself."

Chuckling in a deep voice, I stand up straight, taking in a deep breath of salty sea air before walking back down the bridge with my doubts behind me. I'm coming back home. I'm coming back, Xandra. And I will never leave again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N:  .......... After practically almost a week of writer's block, I actually don't regret anything at all. I absolutely love how this chapter turned out- it's so sad and yet so powerful. I wanted to express the fact that Xandra was kind of like Zane's light in his darkness and she was the only thing that made him stay sane, but also that he needed to find that light in himself- the light that Xandra always believed that Zane had. Wow..... that just got a little bit deep.... ;n;

I'm so sorry for the super late update, but at least you get an amazing chapter that I think is one of my best in ZSC.

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and as always, I love you all and remember, #Zandra rules da shipping world! XP


Zane's Second Chance (Minecraft Diaries' Fanfiction)Where stories live. Discover now