Catch Me If You Can (Durarara Fanfiction)

Chapter 34 | Inexplicable Happiness

"Some persue happiness - some creates it."

- Unknown

Chapter 34

Inexplicable Happiness

❆

"Hika-chan." Kasuka snaps his fingers infornt of me to snap me back to reality, "Hika-chan are you okay?" Kasuka reassured with a face full of worriness, his eyebrows scrunched a little.

"Aa," I replied, pressing my palm to my cheek.

Today, Kasuka came by to see how I was going and sadly, it is also his last day in Ikebukuro, he'll be going back to Tokyo to attend to his duties. He is an actor.

It kind of makes me sad, somehow I feel that this will be the last time I ever see him again, but who knows? Maybe someday we will get to meet again.

However that is not the reason why I am dozing off. Ever since last night, I've been feeling a little sluggish and whenever I remember a scene from last night's talk, my legs gets weak.

Like when Kasuka and I were talking about the city's delicacies, I suddenly remembered the time when he would eat my fatty tuna. It seems crazy but I can't help but smile like an idiot.

My eyes fell at Izaya's fur lined jacket that was laid across the center table.

I was reminded by his words last night, his soft smile and how he lifted up my dead spirits inside me. My memory of how I got back into my room is hazy, it's either him who brought me back to my bedroom or him.

The brisk cold wind from last night made me tired and without acknowledging, I fell asleep on his shoulder. I was told by him that I started talking crazy talk and giggling like I was drunk. How embarrassing.

I clenched the teacup in my hands tightly and averted my eyes away from Kasuka, "Kasuka, I have a question."

"Hn?" He sipped slowly to avoid singing in his tongue.

My lips tensed up a little, I swallowed. "Something has been bugging me . . . I feel weird." I don't know why I'm saying this to Kasuka but I think, I should at least tell one person.

"Do you need napkins?" He asked straightforwardly, with a straight face on.

"N-no! I don't need that, it's not my time of the month yet! Geez, don't say that with a straight face." I muttered, feeling the warmth rising up my cheeks. Maybe I should reconsider the idea; it might just be infatuation?

"How do you know you've developed feelings for someone?" I whispered, beads of sweat clung to my cheek as I ask slowly.

A small smile can be seen on his face, he normally doesn't smile but this time, this smile looked as if he knows who it is.

"It's big brother, isn't it?" He chuckled a little.

I sulked at the thought of that. Now that he has mention Shizuo ㅡ

What do I feel for Shizuo?

Is the same old love still there? Do I even hold feelings for him? I don't understand, how can I develop such feelings in such short time?

They say love is timeless, but is it really? I've been inlove with Shizuo for how many years and what if he actually developed feelings for me? Wouldn't that make his heart ache? That just a few days ago, I was sticking to our bet and now, I've suddenly doubt my own feelings.

I felt guilt and panic rose up to my chest, it felt tight and uncomfortable.

"N-no." My voice croaked and Kasuka's smile dropped immediately.

"W-What?" He questioned flabbergasted. "Then who, Hika-chan?"

I knew this is how he would react. Guess there's no point of lying now . . .

"It's I-"

"Hika-chan!"

Oh no.

Thump. Thump.

"Hika-chan, do you want me to get you anything? Fatty tuna, pocky, any treats?" Izaya came walking in the living room, while putting on his furry jacket.

My cheeks instantly bloom red and my heart began pounding, I looked at Kasuka who seems to give a 'I know what's going on here' look.

I breathed out and tried not to look obvious, I faced the informant and I stuck my hands out in front of him, waving my hands like I'm waving away bees. "No need, no need, I'm all good."

"Hm okay, but if you need anything, text me." He winks and waved away.

Right when the door close shut, I met two intimidating eyes before me, a straight line was formed on his lips, and his right brow rose.

"Who . . . him? Orihara-san?" He says it in a slow matter as if he couldn't believe it.

I nodded, "I'm not sure . . . I can't explain it, it feels weirdㅡ sometimes I get mad at him whenever he teases me or do something that would hurt me but whenever I remember him doing good things for me I can't help but forgive him."

"Since then, I find myself reacting to whatever he does, even the small things. It's so embarrassing. And at the same time it's mortifying." I continued, looking at my reflection through the tea. "It fascinates me on how he could smile so freely despite of him carrying so much work and problems."

"But what about brother? Don't you love him anymore?" He asked, his dark brown eyes that resembles his brother's glistened, his voice had hints of confusion. I wish I could answer his question as confident as before but even I doubt myself.

". . . I do, of course I love him but . . . I wouldn't say, I love him the same way I did like . . . before." I trailed off.

"I think you already know the answer to your question but what you don't know is, how would you respond to big brother's love." The world grew silent for moments that seemed as long as eternity itself, we gazed into each other's eyes and saw a glimpse of hope in him. That maybe I wasn't sure, maybe it is just infatuation but whatever it isㅡ it is too late.

Yeah, that's right. It's suffocating and painful. My heart is pounding at full throttle; you can almost hear it.

Actually, I am not angry. Last night being with Izaya was actually very comforting. I am fortunate to always be treated by importance.

This happiness is not to be taken for granted.

All the little things he does are piling up and turning into an emotion I don't understand.

It's confusing.

All I know is that, even the most trivial of them fill me up with inexplicable happiness.

So after Kasuka and I's serious conversation, I took my laptop and made a file of the things that are in my mind, but instead of talking to the future me, I made it for Izaya. I poured all of my thoughts there, all of my apologies, mistakes and thanked him. It sounds cheesy, really, but I would never show this to him.

It was just a way to cleanse my mind and to think to myself, give myself a little break for once and awhile.

Now I can truly say that meeting you is not a mistake.

AUTHOR's NOTE:

Someone said that Hikaru is another "Mary Sue" character,  it kind of affected me . . . what do you guys think? :(

Is Hikaru another of those Mary Sue characters? What do you personally think of Hikaru?

Sorry for not updating, I've been doing tons of school work and I have such small time for Wattpad - I rarely even go here. Leave a comment, a vote or a follow! It energizes me to see that you one cheek wonders are still clinging onto this junk.

~JeimChan

(Check out my OPM book !!)