Chase You

11; old relationships die hard

Christmas has always been one of my favourite holidays of the year. I loved baking with mother, singing christmas carols by the piano, watching cheesy movies by the fireplace and anything else that is festive. From putting up stockings to playing Monopoly for hours, there was never a moment we wouldn't be together as a family.

Mum's departure stunned us all, but ever since then, I've liked to still keep tradition alive. Even though we sold the piano and threw out mum's stocking, I still like to cherish such wonderful memories. I feel that this christmas was going to be absolutely amazing, especially now that I've learned to bond with Karen.

I may not be as close to her as I should, but she has never failed to try and make me as happy as possible. She's probably always hoped that I'd finally 'accept' her, after all, it's not as if I can put my mother behind me straight away.

Things like that are difficult to get past, but since seeing her in Sheffield, I feel that I've finally moved on because I know she's pretty content, and I'm also a hundred percent sure that she won't be coming back to act like happy families again. It's as if that little visit just cleared some air; i've always hoped that one day, mother would come home with a big grin and then she'd live here again and we'd be back to normal. Turns out that isn't happening anytime soon, and I don't think I'd be comfortable with it straight away if it did happen.

So today, as I made my way into town for the first time since coming home, I hoped to find some presents I could give to people. Christmas eve was tomorrow and the shopping centre was bustling with last-minute shoppers that panicked as they walked from shop to shop hoping there was something worth buying that wasn't already sold out.

Pretty decorations were hung from the ceilings and there was even a small hut where children could all pose with Santa. Big red signs took up shop windows, signalling big deals and sales starting Boxing Day and caught the attention of eager sale whores. I snickered to myself at my odd thoughts, but it was true. Sale whores do exist.

I searched through the windows of different shops, hoping something looked good enough to gift. Pandora looked nice, and I thought it would be nice to buy Karen and Casey a piece of expensive jewellery, but there was a queue that reached all the way to the next shop and I couldn't be bothered for that, not when I had plenty of presents to buy in a limited amount of time.

I stepped into Ralph Lauren, taking in the multitudinous amount of polo tops hung right at the front. I felt excited as I searched through them to find a navy one in large. I'm sure Dad would love a good polo or two, especially one from this shop.

I took the tops to the front and caught eyes with a handsome man. Everyone who worked in these kind of shops were super good looking and I felt awkward just handing him the items of clothing for him to scan. If I met him here two years ago, when I was in school, if probably be all over him.

Wordlessly, he scanned and took the tag off with a magnet thing before typing some things into the computer in front of him.

"Eighty-four pounds please." He said, his voice monotonous and dull. He must be tired from the christmas rush. Me too, brother. Me too.

I stuck my card into the machine and typed in my pin code quickly. He and I both just ended up glaring at the reader, waiting for it to process. I don't think I can stand the awkwardness, it's something that practically radiates off me twenty-four seven.

I practically ran out the store as soon as he handed me the bag and receipt and made my way to the next shop. Another search through a bunch of windows, and I found myself in Topman, staring at a checkered shirt and contemplating if I should or should not. There's only one person who likes to wear checkered shirts literally every single day of their life.