Chase You

19; if this was a movie

Gif: Ben
Song: If This Was A Movie - Taylor Swift

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Even though I know you're not there
I was playing back a thousand memories, baby
Thinking 'bout everything we've been through

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After that, I just couldn't stand being there for any longer and being surrounded by familiar, happy faces. As soon as I opened the bedroom door, Zach and Jace nearly toppled over, I glared and bit my tongue as I forced myself to not shout at the two of them for eavesdropping.

"We didn't hear anything coherent, it was all muffled." Jace shouted behind me as I started stepping down the stairs, I chose to not turn around by instead stick my middle finger out behind me.

"Flynn!" Zach called behind me, rushing down the stairs to catch up with me even though I was well on my way to leave. I knew he didn't have anything to tell me, he was just calling my name to stop me.

As soon as I unlocked the front door, a draft of cold air slapped me in the face but I didn't let that stop me from leaving, this was one of those times I was pretty darn glad Ben and I lived kind of close. Zach didn't follow me when I closed the door behind me and stepped down from the porch.

I wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to warm myself up, it was sleeting and usually, I'd be over the moon because it was setting on the ground but right now, at this moment, I just wanted to get home quickly and sleep.

Fireworks were going off everywhere around me, lighting up the night sky with an array of beautiful colours. I could feel tears slipping down my cheeks and they just kept coming even when I was wiping my face.

Why was I even crying? God, this was shitty start to the new year. All I wanted to do was collapse on the ground and sob my eyes out, but of course, I won't do that, I can't do that, I can't let my guard down over something that would seem so stupid to other people.

I could've spent a little more time upstairs with Ben just to figure things out, get a clarification of what we were, but to be honest, part of me felt as if I already knew the truth to that - we were just nothing. I don't know why I'm acting so damn butt hurt, I was fine with not being friends with Ben for all those years and liking him - no, loving him - so I'll be fine this time.

I took a deep breath and a nice long exhale in an attempt to make myself feel better, I felt angry, but sad too, and it was all because I was throwing away such a unique, brilliant yet extremely unexpected friendship.

All I wanted to do right now was go home, these drunk people wandering around me were starting to freak me out, especially because I was in Ben's neighbourhood and it wasn't the most safest places to be. I'm pretty sure I have now half deaf because of the pounding music at the party and now because of all the freakin' fireworks and their insanely high pitched, irritating noises as they shoot up in the air.

I really hoped Ben would've followed me out the house or chased me down the street, it was so weird how even though my head was trying to push him away, my heart was doing the opposite. I needed to get rid of these stupid thoughts. Why does my life have to be so screwed up for? Why can't I be normal with normal friends and a normal mental state?

It was hurting me more than ever now, knowing I'm losing so much because I'm just me.

I reached home with my head ducked down and used my set of keys to unlock the door quietly, I felt a lot better being in the warmth now and away from weird people around the neighbourhood. Before I could even take my coat off, Ember jumped up, clawing at my jeans and trying to climb up as if she was a cat. It's like she knew how shitty I felt and my god, I just appreciated it so much.