Chase You

14; christmas day I

I made a trailer for this book! Be sure to check it out :-)

oh and how great is the song?! Freddie Stroma, the actor who plays Ben, is the singer!

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I would have thought Christmas Day would've been fun, I was getting so excited for it and I barely slept because I just couldn't wait to give presents out to everyone and receive a shit ton of socks from literally everyone I know. That's right, I may or may not have peeked whilst Dad was wrapping and those presents in the post seemed awfully sock shaped.

I was feeling... How was I feeling exactly? I felt as if I didn't want to leave my bed, I just couldn't even if I tried. It was eleven in the morning, and no, it was not one of those 'I don't want to leave my bed because it's cold' or one of those 'I'm too comfortable in bed' type of things, it was more of a 'my legs feel paralysed and my body aches from exhaustion'.

It felt like the after math of those heavy workout sessions I used to do. Everything in me just wanted to collapse, but that little voice in my head tells me to carry on, so I force myself to workout more. In other words, my mind was screaming at me to get a move on, but my body was failing on me completely. Another part of my mind was just stuck with incessant thoughts, as per usual, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't block them out. That small part of my mind was the part that wanted to stay in bed all day and do absolute jack shit.

My room door was closed, so whatever was going on in the house was completely unknown to me. Whether everyone was opening presents or eating a nice breakfast was something I couldn't care less about.

Today was everything I hoped. A White Christmas, everyone together, my friends from school around the neighbourhood and everyone in high spirits- everyone but me of course.

I turned in my bed and faced the ceiling, focusing hard on the posters I had stuck up there a couple years ago. They actually came in useful, because at time like these, staring up at a ceiling kept me from going too into my incessant, miserable thoughts.

My lithium pills were on my desk, but I didn't want to take them. They didn't really make much a difference anyway, they just gave me a little bit of energy that'll actually get me out of bed and barely talking with people.

Casey burst in my room, jolting me a little and making me bump my head into the headboard of my bed.

"Flynny." She started. My mind flew to Ben, since he was the only person to call me that.

I turned over to face the opposite direction from her. I didn't want to see her, I didn't want to see anyone. Damn, I should've locked my room door.

Casey placed her hand diligently on my shoulder, as if putting only the slightest bit of pressure on it would trigger something inside of me to go on a rampage or whatever.

"Flynn, what's wrong?" She cooed, her voice sweet and soft.

"Nothing, Casey." I grunted.

"You can tell me anything."

"It's.. Just my mother." I explained. "It's not the same without her around."

"I'm sorry about that." She replied and ran a hand through my hair. In that moment, I heard Ember's tiny footsteps and heavy breathing make its way into my room. The bed dipped a little as she jumped on it and curled up to herself near my feet.