Chase You

43; chasing him, chasing me

A/N: I'd like to shoutout @lidizyanani and @marsnvic because they're such great commenters and I am so appreciative of the time they take to type out in-depth theories, discussions and opinions. I absolutely love reading them! 😍🥰

Quote of the chapter:
You know how the moon only glows
because it's reflecting off the sun?
Well thats me with him.
He's my sun,
and I only shine
because he's there.

*+.*+.+*+.*.*+.*+.**+*+.*.+*+.*+.*.+.*

"I can't believe you didn't tell me anything, Ben." Jace sighed, eyes downcast. Between their bodies, I saw Zach slowly intertwine his fingers with his boyfriends and as an act of support and love, he squeezed his hand gently and let go almost as quickly.

"It's just... I don't feel inside that it's the right time. I don't actually owe anybody any explanations." He mused, his arm that was slinked around me stiffened. I almost felt like my breathing had stopped.

Jace just scoffed, and turned his back to us. Zach reacted quickly, his hand moving up to reach Jace's shoulder and a panic stricken look painting his face. He said a few quiet words, but from where I stood, it was difficult to hear or make out what it was. Jace shook his head, then walked off back into the main hall.

I eyed Ben, a combination of sadness and pain etched on his features. His eyebrows were knotted together, and his lips were set in a fine, thin line.

Zach turned to us, and he fidgeted with his fingers before stepping towards us.

"I understand you not being ready, Ben. I'm actually quite happy for you, because since knowing you, Flynn's been looking a lot better... and uh, I'm sorry about Jace, I understand where he's coming from too since you've been best friends for years. I'll try my best to comfort him, he just needs some time to stew in his emotions right now." He finished, and with that, followed in Jace's direction.

I stayed cradled in Ben's arms for a minute or two, we didn't say anything to each other, and since the speeches were going on, we knew it wouldn't be likely for someone to walk in and see us here standing like this.

Finally, he sighed, some kind of symbol he was still living and breathing and not frozen in time. His arm that snaked around my shoulders, tightened again, and his other hand wrapped around my waist. His head nuzzled into my neck, and he sighed again. "I'm sorry that I can't be 'out' yet to everyone else. I know you find it odd considering my family's clear view of same sex relationships, but it's not about that... in actual fact, I'm still confused myself-"

"It's fine." I grumbled. Having stayed silent this whole time, I realised how unhappy I felt by the tone of voice and unfair actions earlier. He led me on, didn't he? Of course I didn't deserve any of that.

"What's so confusing, Ben? Do you like me or not? If you don't then please let me know as soon as you can before I fall for you further. It wouldn't hurt so much if you told me sooner rather than later." I bit, slapping his hand away. "I'm a simple person, I can't handle complicated relationships anymore, I barely made it through school alive."

"Flynn." Ben winced, grabbing my face with his hands, tracing patterns at the back of my neck with calloused fingers.

"No, Ben! I'm sick of this back and fourth. I can't stay in the closet with you. I've been proudly out since the start of secondary school."

"Just calm down." He said, his voice quiet. He reached for my hair, and moved my some strands away from my eyes. "I love you. Don't ever think otherwise."

I took some calming breaths, and placed my hand on top of his. The warmth of his hands felt like fire against my cheeks, and I nuzzled into it.

"Okay, sorry, yes, that was out of order. My feelings are unchanged, because this whole situation is unfair for me, but I just wonder why you want to keep us a secret. If it's not your family, then what?" I pondered.