Chase You

17; christmas day IV

A/N: I can't believe I've finally finished these Xmas chapters! They're way overdue. It's bloody April. T_T

Look, it's ben! :>

I'd like to give a massive thanks to _onceupontheend for helping me with some of this chapter :*

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Ben and I walked back home practically in silence, I was sort of glad since I didn't feel like talking all that much. I was thinking about what Zach had said and if such a friendship could kindle between the two of us, how long would it last?

Surely, we'd get sick of each other at some point. If not, I'd probably screw it all up myself because of the stupid decisions I tend to make due to my illness, I screwed my friendship with Zach once, so there's no point in assuring myself that something like that couldn't happen.

What if he decides to go university? I would barely get a chance to see him, how could a friendship last when you're barely hanging out together? I can already tell my friendship with Kyle isn't going so well now that he's got a boyfriend and moving on in life.

They really are a wonderful couple and I would never try to delay them from following their dreams because of my own issues, but I'm pretty sure I heard him say that they might move to London together.

We walked up to my driveway and saw that there were a couple pairs of wet and snowy boots on the porch, which meant Ben's parents were here already.

As soon as I opened the door, I went straight towards my room, not even taking off my coat and shoes. Ben just followed behind me and repetitively asked what in the world I was doing, but his voice just faded into the back once I pushed open my bedroom door.

My legs were just weaker and weaker the closer I got to my bed and I wanted nothing more than to just collapse on the old blue sheets - which is what I did.

I kicked my shoes off and ripped my coat off before warming my body up beneath the cover.

"Flynn, come on." Ben called, standing in the doorway and making my room colder and colder, making me wrap myself in a blanket burrito.

I just stared at him with a blank look, which seemed to be the same look I had been sporting since forever. Finally, I spotted his rucksack at the foot of the bed and peeked inside it to find all the DVD's he had bought over.

"Lion King?" I asked, holding the DVD up to show him.

"How about we watch that later, right now, we have to spend some time downstairs because I haven't told my family about your disorder and they'd figure something is up if you're being like this."

I sighed and dragged myself out of bed, and by 'dragged' I literally mean rolling to the edge of the bed, dropping my feet to the ground and forcing myself up.

I knew I was currently in one of those moods, hell, I've realised I've been like this for three days now. Maybe I should read that booklet I was given, but then again, I just really didn't want to be constantly reminded of the harsh reality. My Doctor said the booklet covers just about everything, including how bad I could get in one of my 'episodes' and how I could affect those around me.

Everything was so odd and not uniformed. For maybe a couple hours, I could be normal, but later in the day I'd feel terrible. I guess that's what my lithium is for, but it could also be because this is a new diagnosis and everything is just all over the place.

However, I'm surprised by the ratio of the different episodes. I'm just depressed for most the time and it's at a really bad time too. What a great way to spend Christmas and New Years, right?