Chase You

28; nocturnal

This is probably my favourite chapter so far, it's about 500 words shorter than my usual amount but you should brace yourselves! It's an emotional rollercoaster! ;)

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The room was dark, only gloomy figures where the furniture was could be seen, and even then, just barely, because they blended in with the dark night.

I've always liked the thought of blackout curtains, I never thought they'd be so... Opaque. Did that sound stupid?

Of course it did, dumbass.

I pulled the duvet up to my neck and took a quick glance at the adorable sleeping boy beside me. His back was turned to me and judging by the heavy, uniform breaths coming from him, I could tell he was in a deep slumber.

Already? How long had I spent staring at the same spot on the ceiling? The same lightbulb? I took a quick glance to my phone and tapped the screen. The screen illuminated dimly and squinted my eyes to check the time.

1:44 am

Apparently it had been a little over thirty minutes. It sure didn't feel that long, how could I just stare up at a single lightbulb for thirty whole minutes?

I guess I wasn't looking up at the lightbulb the entire time for my mind was deciding to come alive at this unnecessary hour. It's been like that for a while now.

It was the part of my mind that liked to pick on me. Mock me. Bully me.

I glanced to Ben once again, noticing how the duvet had fallen down his shoulder. Diligently, I bought the blanket up higher to cover the bare skin and smiled to myself.

He's just being supportive because he feels sorry for you.

He doesn't actually like you, especially romantically. Who could?

I swallowed back the small bit of bile that travelled up my throat and closed my eyes once more as I tried to steady my breathing, which had increasingly quickened in the last few minutes.

You're just dead weight to him.

I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to feet just a moment of peace, but apparently my mind wasn't up for compromise.

Your dad didn't even care that you ran out the house.

All you do is run. From your problems, your friends, your family -- the only people that care for you.

A single tear slipped down my cheek, the wetness tickled my skin as it traveled from the corner of my eye, past my cheekbones and to my ear, dampening it a little.

I managed to choke back the rest. It wasn't easy considering the size of the lump in my throat.

I took a deep breath, but tried to keep as quiet as I possibly could, Ben didn't deserve to be woken up because of my issues, even though he's told me countless times that I'm more than welcome to do just that.

He doesn't mean it, obviously.

I had an inkling of doubt that it was wrong, and that he really did mean it, but the majority of me wanted to believe all these thoughts, it wanted me to believe that he didn't give a flying shit about me or my issues, and he's just kind of been thrown into this and there's no getting out because he's too far gone.

I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them again, I was trying my absolutely hardest to just focus on the ceiling, or more specifically, the light bulb. Just focus on something other than the thoughts in my mind.