Me: YOU WHAT!
Conner stays silent
Me: CONNER WHAT THE FUCK! YOU WHAT!
At this point I'm on my feet raging. I've never been this pissed in my entire life. My heart is racing, adrenaline is rushing through my veins, I'm seeing red everywhere, my palms sweating and pulsing with anger, my breathing increases in speed. I can't deal with this, is this boy serious? He really gave me abortion pills. I place my hands on my head pacing around the room like a maniac
Me: Ohh lord please help me, please give me strength not to kill this bitch
Connor: Lexi calm down
Me: Don't fucking tell me to fucking calm down, do you know what you just did? Or is this a normal thing for you? Giving girls abortion pills. That shit is dangerous Connor. And yet you want me to fucking trust you. I can't believe you just did that. What if I wanted to keep the baby? Huh? Ever think of that?
At this point I can't even form full words without stuttering.
Me: CONNOR! Ahhh you killed a fucking human being! Do you not get that! Ohh I guess you're used to killing people since you're Andre's cleaner.
Connor's voice sharply changed from calm and comforting to deep and husky
Connor: Don't say shit like that! That isn't me anymore, I don't do shit like that.
I grab the lamp on my side of the bed side table and furiously throw it at him but he ducks and dodges it.
Connor: LEXI CALM THE FUCK DOWN! I KNOW YOU'RE ANGRY BUT YOU GOTTA CHILL MAN!
Me: He wants me to chill, he wants me to fucking chill
I start to chuckle a little
Me: CHILL FOR WHAT! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. DON'T PLAY ME LIKE THAT, DON'T SAY THAT SHIT TO ME! UNDERSTAND!
Andre bursts into the room and witnesses me almost in tears, the lamp shattered into pieces on the floor and Connor standing on the other side of the bed not phased, no emotion, just blank.
Andre: Who did this? This is an expensive lamp y'all, one of you will be paying for this
Connor: Ahaha what the fuck man, nahh just take it out of Lexi's pay
Me: Why the fuck are you laughing? THIS ISN'T FUNNY BITCH
Connor: Lexi! I told you to calm your ass down! And DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE THAT. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO HOE BAG.
Andre: What the fuck is going on here?
Me: CONNOR TRICKED ME INTO TALKING FUCKING ABORTION PILLS.
Andre looks on the floor then back at me.
Me: But you already knew that didn't you?
You could hear the realisation in my voice
Me: You helped him, you wrote the note.
Andre: Le-
Me: JUST SHUT UP!... What did you say Connor, Hoe bag? Hmm Hoe bag yeah? There's me thinking you were a classy man.
While talking I'm walking closer and closer to Connor
Me: Sophisticated, charming, intelligent man, I guess I was wrong, you're nothing but a low life, hood rat, self absorbed little boy. Who has no life and sells drugs for a living.
I stop to take a breath and when I look at the ground, I see myself standing on the shatter pieces of the lamp. I gently bend down and examine this big piece that was appealing to me.
Me: I'm sorry I broke your lamp Andre, I'll be sure to replace it for you.
I say in such a calm and monotone voice.
I look up at Connor who seems to be taking small steps back, I grab the big piece and launch myself towards Connor.
Andre: LEXI STOP!
Andre comes behind me and holds me back while Connor is plastered against the wall, shocked and astonished at what I was attempting to do. Andre grabs me and brings me to the floor and I just break down in tears. The realisation that the baby once inside of me is now gone, that I tried to kill Connor with my bare hands. I just lay there, on the floor, with Andre crying my eyes out at this sudden epiphany.
A few hours went by, I'm much calmer now. Connor left the house, who knows where he's gone, and to be honest, who cares. I'm sitting on the sofa in the living room drinking a cup of tea that Andre made for me.
Andre: Feeling better?
Me: I guess
Andre: That was a heck of a.... ummm... Moment
I stay silent
Andre: You can't give me the silent treatment to, Lexi
I stay silent
Andre: Lexi please, speak to me
I lift my head up and look at him
Me: What? What do you want me to say? That my brother is trying to kill me?
Andre: What?
Me: Or that he's keeping me a prisoner in this massive house lord knows where
Andre: Lexi!
Me: Hmmm? Is that what you want me to say?
Andre: Ahh Lexi... I.. I'm sorry okay. Look I knew that you was pregnant since your birthday, Junior told me and Connor. Trust me, Junior got one heck of a beating from him, he wasn't let off easily. It was only at the night we got here, when you was fast asleep that Connor came with the idea of tricking you to the pill. Trust me, I disagreed with it immediately but then he started explaining some valid points about keeping you safe, we can't risk having a baby right now, or even affording it.
Me: Really Andre
I say sarcastically
Andre: Alright fine, of course we can afford it. But knowing you, you wouldn't want your son or daughter to have a bad quality of life because we're always hiding you, or you can't go out in public areas or you can't go on holidays or the park and have a normal stress free life.
Me: So what you made the decision for me?
Andre: As bad as it may sound, yes I did, but only to protect you for the long term.
Me: I guess
Andre: I'm not here to hurt you Lexi, I'm here to protect you and love you.
I look up at him with tears streaming down my face.
Andre: Don't cry, this won't last for long
I hug him immediately, crying in his arms. Then I heard the front door open and close, I'm guessing it was Connor.
Connor: Having a moment are we?
Me: Get out!
Andre: Connor please just go upstairs
Connor: Whatever
With that he went up the stairs.
Andre: Connor's not all bad you know
Me: Of course you would say that, he's your friend
Andre: And your boyfriend
Me: He's not my boyfriend.... never was.
Andre: Lexi that's harsh, you're telling me you didn't love him at some point?
Me: Nope
Andre: Lexi
Me: Maybe at the beginning
Andre: He's just trying to help you know
Me: Ppsshh I doubt it
Andre: He is, he was the one that suggested the idea of how to get you out of that warehouse, he was the one that forced me to tell you about my entire second life, he sorted out the security team he-
Me: He also killed my unborn child
Andre: All for the best, cut him some slack he loves you Lexi, and still does.
I move my head from Andre's chest to his lap.
Me: I'll cut him some slack when I'm dead
Andre: hhhh Lexi man
Me: Stop defending him, start defending me, you never defend me, you're always on his side.
Andre: What! I'm always defending you! Always, Connor complains that I defend you too much.
Me: Hhhmmm
Andre: All I'm saying is give him a chance
Me: I gave him enough
Andre: Give him another, you never know, he may surprise you. Besides, you two still have to sleep in the same room.
Me: What!
I shoot up sitting up right now.
Andre: Yep, rules are rules
Me: Andre!
Andre: Sorry Lexi
He says while getting up and exiting the room with an evil smirk on his face.
It's about midnight now, and I'm still down stairs watching TV
Me: I bet he's asleep by now.
I get up walk upstairs to my room. When I open the door, I see Connor on the bed looking through his phone. I stand by the door frame staring at him.
Connor: Aren't you gonna come in
Me: Depends, do you have anymore surprises?
Connor: I should be asking you that
We both look at the shattered lamp still on the floor.
I climb into bed and get comfortable.
As I'm about to fall asleep Connor then surprises me
Connor: I'm sorry Lexi.
I don't move but listen to any sudden movement.
Connor: Fine... I'm sorry for everything I put you through, everything I did was for your benefit.
I roll my eyes at him
Connor: Alright alright, everything I TRIED to do was for your benefit. I didn't mean to hurt you, at all, this business gets very complicated when it's mixed with people you care about and sometimes, you have to hurt them to help them.
I stay silent
Connor: All I'm asking is for you to forgive me... Please Lexi I love-
Me: Don't you dare finish that sentence, you don't love me, you never did. Don't use the word love when apologising to me, expecting me just to melt in your arms like what other girls do to you. I'm not like them. I will never be. Don't treat me like them. Now leave me alone and let me sleep. Goodnight.
I get up, turn off the light and pretend to sleep. I guess I was kinda hard on Connor, I mean I can tell it was hard for him to apologise but at the same time, I don't want him to ever treat me like that, can't let him off, that easily.
