Me: ANSWER ME!
Andre: Lexi relax! C-Calm d-down you still need t-to rest
I face Andre in shock. How dare he say that! Does he not care about Connor?
The car door opens and Connor steps in the drivers seat. Oh my God! My heart rate rapidly goes back to normal
Me: Connor
I say inaudible
Connor: Let's go
He says ignoring me and starts the car.
We're at the safe house now. There's no guards around, Andre says it's because when their leader dies the employees have to find normal jobs and live normal lives and must not speak of who they have been working for otherwise they will get killed. Andre is getting better, he's in his room resting. I couldn't imagine the sort of things he must have went through. I wanted to ask him so many questions when I saw him again but, I know he needed time to rest. On the other hand, I'm in my old room, the one I shared with Connor the last time we were here, just looking outside and reminiscing how life used to be before I got into all of this mess. Connor, Junior and Daniel are downstairs probably doing lord knows what. When we got back a nurse aided me and Andre then we both went to bed. I'm feeling much better now. I can't believe Connor put his own life at risk for me. But why? I mean I know he said he'll protect me but... I wasn't expecting that! Is he doing it for?Andre? Or me?
Connor: Feeling better
He says while standing by the door frame staring at me
Me: O-oh you startled me
Connor: Are you feeling better?
He says smirkingly and sitting on the edge of the bed in front of me
Me: Yes much better... Thank you... For ev-
Connor: Stop! You don't need to thank me
He says looking at his hands
Me: What do you mean! You risked your life for me Connor. That deserves more than a thank you
Connor: Ohh really
He smirks at my answer
Me: I-I didn't mean i-it like.. Oh God
I could feel my face warming up and start to fidget with my fingers. Connor places his hand on top of mine and I look up facing him.
Connor: Stop fidgeting, I'm only joking
He stares at me for a while which makes the butterflies in my stomach start to flutter.
Me: Stop that!
Connor: Stop what
He looks confused
Me: That!... Staring at me! Looking at me like that! It makes me go insane
Connor: Ohh... kay?
Me: You say that you want us to stop what we're doing but you keep flirting with me, making me like you even though I shouldn't
Connor: I know.... I know what I said and I don't want us to stop what we were doing. I miss your kisses, your touch, your laugh... Damn it... I miss you! I can't stop thinking about you. I thought if I spent less time with you my feelings would just stop but, seeing you outside that warehouse I felt like I had to protect you. When I held your hand I knew I didn't want to let you go.
He moves closer to me
Connor: Lexi you're the girl for me. I love you
Me: What are you saying
I say while sitting up more
Connor: I'm saying... I want you to be mine, my girlfriend, my number one girl, my love, my rock, my... my... Damn it, I can't think of anymore cheesey phrases to say
Oh my God. Did he just? He did! Ahh! I wasn't expecting this, at all. He really wants me to be his girlfriend again. So many emotions running through my veins, mostly excitement. I open my mouth to scream yes but, no words are coming out. Instead I start thinking about the last time I was his main chick and how he didn't stand up for me, how he made me upset and cry. How much I wanted him and he didn't want me. I started thinking about Simon and what he did to him. Could I really be with a guy who's hurt me so much? Maybe stopping this "friends with benefits" thing we had going on is a good idea. I look up at Connor and he seems confused. It was obvious my answer changed by my facial expression.
Connor: Well?...
Me: No, I can't
I said almost inaudible
Connor: Why not?
He says confused and a little annoyed
Me: Connor you've hurt m-
Connor: I know but that was in the past. I'm a better person now, I've chang-
Me: A past that I can not forg-
Connor: Well you need to Lexi, what happened in the past is the past. We have to move forward from it and learn from our mistakes.
He stands by the bed now angry
Me: Mistakes? As in Simon?
Connor: FOR FUCK SAKE FORGET ABOUT HIM LEXI! HE'S GONE GET OVER IT
Me: BECAUSE OF YOU!
Connor: I HAD TO DO WHAT I HAD TO DO
Me: YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO KILL HIM!
Connor: That's why you don't want me? Because of him? Simon?
Me: He was my first lov-
Connor: NO HE WASN'T I WAS! I WAS YOUR FIRST LOVE NOT HIM! ADMIT IT!
I don't say a thing but just stare at him. It's true but I can't admit it. How did he know?
Connor: Thought so. Call me when you've grown up.
He leaves the room slamming the door shut causing the new plant next to it to fall and smash into pieces. Ahh! I'm raging now! I'm angry and I don't know why! Why can't he accept what he did was wrong? He killed someone, that's not right. Even though he is my first love I can't be with him. He's poison to me. I need someone to talk to. I walk up to Andre's room to check up on him and he's on his bed checking his laptop
Me: Knock knock
He looks up then smiles
Andre: Ahh my favourite sister, come in
I giggle a little and sit next to him on his bed
Me: Am I really?
Andre looks at me and winks
Andre: But don't tell the others
Then we both laugh.
Me: What are you doing?
I say laying my head on his shoulder
Andre: Finding my old employees
Me: Andre!
I shoot up
Andre: I know I know I should be resting blah blah blah but I can't rest until I know you are safe
Me: So how is finding your old employees going to help
Andre: Finding the old guards
Me: Andre seriously stop!
Andre: Wait give m-
But it's too late I've already snatched the laptop from him and place it under the bad
Andre: Alright alright I'll rest
Me: Good
Andre: I heard your conversation with Connor
Me: What! How?
My cheeks start to warm up
Andre: You guys weren't necessarily quiet
Me: Ohh
Andre: He really cares about you Lexi
Me: Ohh here we go
I roll my eyes
Andre: He does. I didn't expect him to put his life on the line for you like that. And for that I will always be thankful for what he did... And you!
Me: But he still kil-
Andre: Stop! You know my business and you know how it works. What Simon did was wayy against the rules do you agree? And falling in love with my younger sister wasn't cool either. The whole time you and Simon were together Connor was searching day and night for you, he still loved and cared about you. You have to understand where his rage came from to do such a thing. I know killing isn't the answer, it never is but, that's Connor's jo-... Was Connor's job.... to be the cleaner. This is the life we have both have chosen, its not the best or the most ideal but it gets us by. He's changed now and wants to make a menses. Let him, he's really trying. If it was me I would have given up a long time ago but he hasn't, that should prove something.
He's right, I need to get over Simon but I don't think I'd be able to trust Connor ever again.
Me: I'll talk to him
Andre: Alright go go
He pushes me off the bed
Me: Not now! Now I'm chilling with my big bro
I gave him an wink and talked on the bed until we both fell asleep.
It's the next morning and Andre isn't in bed.. Woah that sounded weird. I get up and walk down the stairs to the kitchen where Connor is topless and wearing an apron. He spots me standing by the door staring at him.
Me: Morning
He smiles
Connor: Morning beautiful
Beautiful? What? Is he..? Never mind let's not over think this.
Me: Made breakfast?
I say while sitting at the table
Connor: Indeed I did. Someone has to feed the house
Why is he acting like we didn't have an argument yesterday? It reminds me of how Simon used to behave.
Connor: Foods ready
I get up from my seat when Connor stands in front of me getting in my way.
Connor: Sit! I'll get it
Me: I can get my own food
He doesn't say a thing but just stands there, he won't budge will he? I sit back down like an angry child and wait for my food. Connor comes out with a tray full of an English breakfast
Me: Thank you
He places it in front of me, sits and watches me eat.
Me: Can you stop
Connor: Stop what?
Me: Watching me
Connor: Why
Me: Because it's weird
Connor: Why? You're so beautiful
What is he doing? Why is he complimenting me at such a random time.
Me: What are you doing?
I say placing my cutlery down in annoyance
Connor: What do you mean?
He looks at me with no emotion on his face
Connor: Can't I compliment you?
Me: No.. Well yes, if you want but not at random times like this
Connor: If you were my girlfriend I would constantly tell you how beautiful you are, how amazing, brave, confident. I would tell you how much I love you everyday and would never hit you
What? Why did he say that? Why would he say he would ne... Then it hit me, Simon hurt me a few times back at the motel. He can't be referring to that, I mean... How would he even know? He wasn't there, he didn't even know where we were. I stare at him trying to get a reaction out of him but all he does is tilt his head taunting me waiting for me to react. I can sense he knows that I've caught on.
Me: What are you playing at? Why would you say that!
I stand from my chair
Connor: What do you mean. I'm stating the obvious. I would never hurt you intentionally like that
He says standing while giving me a stare down.
Me: How did you find out?
Connor: I think you mean how did I know
Me: HOW!
I scream so loud that it scratched the back of throat
Connor: I got my connections
The smirk on his face left
Me: Why are you doing this?
I say a tear rolling down my cheek
Connor: Since you can't get over Simon then I'm going to be better than Simon. I'll cook you food, compliment you daily and never touch a hair on your head. Hopefully, at least then you'll get over him and start realising that I'm here to stay, work this out.
I have no words. "Trying to be better than Simon" Those words keep playing inside my head. He can never be better than him. I just stare at him and just back away slowly all the way up to my room. I closed the door and sink to the floor trying to calm my breathing, I didn't even know I was out of breathe until now. Why is he doing this? I could feel the door being pushed open, I fight the force to push it closed
Me: Connor go away
??? It's not Connor it's Andre!
Ohh God Andre. I move away from the door and Andre stumbles forwards.
Andre: Are you okay? I heard you guys arguing
Me: I'm fine
I sit on my bed fed up and already tired of the day
Andre: Lexi are you sure
Me: I'M FINE!
The look on Andre's face just says it all, shock, pure shock
Andre: I'm just worried. The last time you stormed off to your room you ran away. I don't want that happening again.
He sits next to me on the bed with his arm around my shoulder and I just start bawling.
Me: I'm *sniff* sorry
Andre: It's alright, I know you and Connor are going through a rough time... The whole house could hear it.
He jokes and it works I giggle a little while punching him in the stomach annoyed that he made me laugh.
Andre: Look I'll talk to him and tell him to back off. But that's only if you tell me to
