I open again the letter Jin hyung had given to me,a day before he die.I can't hold my tears when i read the letter.I have read so many times but still it make me cry.
Namjoon,i was gone when you read this letter.I'm so sorry for doing this.You are the leader.I leave my car to you. Guide them all.You need to be strong and tough.No matter how hard,don't leave them.They may hard to handle, but trust me,they are not as tough as you think.I had brain cancer.Stage 4.I'm tired already eating all those pills everyday.I have lived longer than the doctor had expected.I dont want all of you see i'm dying.That will be harder for all of you to accept my death.Jungkook need someone by his side all the time.He got a phobia with water,but he only told me.He drown once when he was a kid. but he can help you.Suga is the closest with me.He will feel the most sad.Maybe he was a year older than you, but scold him, it's the only way to make him realised about the reality.Maybe he always show a cold expression,but he care about all of us.Jimin can be unexpected.You need to be aware.He like to be alone.But talk to him.It will make him feel better.Jhope is the most funniest among us.But,he could change to be the most silent.Bring him out for a walk.Take a good care of yourself and all of them.Be a good hyung to them.Give them this letter when you think they are ready.You will know when.I'm sorry again.I hope you can make them become how they used to be before i die.Protect them.All of them need you.I know you can.Sorry for burden you.
Love,Jin.
I fold the letter and keep it in my drawer.
I try to start my life again by working at the petrol station.But,there was this one customer.He make me feel insulted. He threw the gas money through his window and drive off.He was so rude.I don't go home yet.My dad won't even treat me as his son because i don't want to take over his company.Actually,i have been chase from the house.
I saw Jungkook try to kill himself by standing at the middle of the road.He make people angry,but he still don't move.I had to pass through the crowd and save him.It make me feel sad that he try to suicide.It feel so hard for me.But,he was still like a baby who need a good care.He was crying and my shoulder was wet with his tears.But,i was relieved.At least there was someone who can help me go through this.At least he still has his sense.
Then V call and said he miss me.But he tell me a shocking thing that make me shiver.He kill his dad.I know he was having a hard time trying to live with his abusive father.He exploded today,he was like a ticking bomb. I know that he struggle a lot.But,he make a crime. A huge crime.What he just do was not a joke.But i need to help him because i promise him.He was like my own dongsaeng.But,he can't always run from the cop.They will know one day.What can i do when that day come.He can't go to jail.He was not a criminal.I know he don't meant to kill his dad.
But i start to feel burdened.
Can i do this?What if i fail?
All this though keep playing in my mind.I stare at the ceiling.Then,i remember my shirt that I'm wearing was damp.Two guy cry at my shoulder today.I change my clothes.I lay on my bed thinking about all of them.My chest heaved thinking about all of them.
"Hyung,can i and V hyung sleep at the couch and watch tv? ".Jungkook voice bring me back to reality.
"Nae,but don't sleep too late".
Jungkook and V was staying at my house.When can i show them the letter Jin give me.V emotion don't look stable.I don't know about Jungkook.I wonder if he accept the truth behind Jin's death.
