Swapped Feelings | ✓

■ She is an idiot

Jared

What the fuck was she saying? Moreover, why was she saying it? I knew this girl was weird and crazy, but there was a limit of craziness. Had she hit her head?

Why would she think this reminded me of her sister? That wasn't why I told her to change. I might be cruel but I would never want her to change. I hated her just the way she was, not like that fake sister of hers.

The thought of Alice hadn't even crossed my mind until she said it. She definitely looked like Alice.

But again as I said, this wasn't why I told her to change.

This wasn't Allison. She wore different clothes usually and I lov— didn't mind it when she wore this.

Though I had only seen her as Alice for all the time during our friendship days, I liked her way better in the clothes I had seen her in these few weeks. Those were what made Allison.

That was her. Not this girl.

I didn't mind her wearing designer clothes but I knew she never preferred them compared to what she usually wore. I wouldn't tell her anything if she wore those dresses but hearing that she wore it because of what other people said got on my nerves.

If she ever wore something, it would be because she wanted to, not what others were dictating. She wasn't in school anymore.

Back in those days, I always felt she was the type of person who deliberately berated herself to fish for more compliments from outsiders. But later, I understood she really had her own set of insecurity issues.

Maybe she was right, maybe it did remind me of the past, but not her sister. It was the lies she fed me throughout the time. If I saw her like this, my mind always went back to those days where she lied through her teeth, smiling and talking like she had no secrets from me.

Why the hell would she say that? I didn't know Alice and had no interest knowing her now or ever.

Allison was the main priority now. Not her sister.

Whatever hatred, likeness, dislike, love... no, not love— I had was only for Allison. Sure, I hated Alice too. But it was more of an indifference towards her. I could care less about what she did or why she did it. I hated Allison with a burning passion.

Only because she lied and toyed with me. She could have told me that day at the café that she was Alice's twin or throughout the months we spend together. And yet, she seemed okay with lying about everything.

But I felt a small amount of guilt when the hurt look appeared on her face when I called her ugly. Yet, who can make her understand that I said these in order to get her out of those clothes. I wasn't going to give her any explanation. I didn't owe her any.

But, wasn't it the thing I wanted? To insult her? So I did it, I should feel happy. I wanted to feel happy. However, I was feeling even more frustrated and angry.

She was looking sexy and hot, I couldn't deny. But she didn't look like Allison, that was the thing. When she wore her usual dress, it didn't make the hatred any less but it was still bearable.

Maybe I had a hunch throughout the time that she looked better in that look. And I was right when I saw her after five years or even maybe in her house that day, when I ended everything.

Oh fuck. She was again distracting me. I was thinking too much. I need to calm down.

She was looking tantalising though. She was shooting lasers at me while looking like heaven herself. That familiar pang of desire rose inside me. I clenched my jaws as similar desires akin to the first meeting coursed through me. My hands itched to grab her. I felt like knotting my fingers in her hair and just show her some wonderful time. Jesus, she was giving me the morning shivers and I was supposed to be at work.

"Listen," I ordered, gulping down the forbidden thoughts, "Drop this dress. If anyone says anything to you to make you feel uncomfortable, report it to me and I will deal with them. Whatever issues I have with you, its just between you and me. I won't let others add anything to it," I cleared my throat, "So, don't wear this, it doesn't suit you. Don't try to be what you are not. You did it once and the consequences weren't nice."

"You don't say," She snorted. "Who knows it better than me?"

"Language, Ms. Marshall," I warned, "I am saying it nicely for once. Do not wear this god awful dress. You work for me and not for them. So, you will dress up as you usually do. Get it?"

She clenched her jaws and nodded stiffly and was about to go when I called, "Where are you going?"

"To the washroom to remove my makeup because it doesn't bode well with you. Or am I not even allowed to do that now?" She gave a sweet fake smile.

"Allison, don't give me that sass," My voice was low now. She was testing my patience.

"Or what? You will fire me? Will you burden me with work?" She quickly responded, folding her arms.

"Don't test me, Marshall," I commanded a bit too loudly. She gave a lopsided smile before turning to leave.

"Also, never ever speak about what happened between us to anyone here. People don't need any more gossip," I said, getting angrier by the minute.

She nodded again. I opened the laptop and opened the mail I was currently checking on, "Good. You may leave."

"With pleasure," She replied coldly and went out quickly slamming the door.

I watched her go and for a second, felt like stopping her and hugging her. She looked hurt literally. She was making me feel guilty about myself.

I had to remind myself again not to feel guilty about liars. I didn't owe her any explanation. I didn't anymore.