Independent

Chapter 12: Approval

The days went on, more slowly now that I was used to the atmosphere. The days seemed to be monotone, all I would do is duel with Kylo then, sulk at my bedroom wall for the rest of the day.

The only thing that seemed to be different were the flashbacks I got every now and then. They seemed to be crawling out of the locked chamber at the back of my head. One after the other. Eating out my other thoughts, somehow possessing my mind. They were haunting me in my dream and in my wake.

My training seemed to be worse rather than better. Everytime I look at Kylo's face, I am ambushed by the memory of him trying to kill me.

There were other force sensitive people. Like me and like him. But he slayed them all. The only word I seemed to think suited him now was murderer. The look of fright in my parents faces made my hatred for him soar higher than ever.

I tried my best not to show how differently I think of him now. Keeping my thoughts enclosed during our practice sessions. It seemed to be working quite fine. But, I felt it wasn't enough yet. I still felt exposed when his eyes bore onto mine. He would probably have me restrained all over again if he knew that I had started remembering. The thought of the metal chair was enough to give me goosebumps

All the chaos, all the events seemed to fall onto my chest. Making it harder for me to ever relax. I quietly made fun of myself at that thought.

When was even the last time in my life that I truely felt relaxed?

It seemed that I was a magnet for trouble. This trouble was chasing me wherever I go. No matter how far I try to get away. I ran but, I couldn't hide forever. It seemed to find me in the end.

It bothered me that Kylo actually knew a fraction of my past. Who knows how long we've known each other, possibly years.

There was something about the flashbacks. There was one thing that seemed to be altered or rather completely forgotten. Something that wasn't mentioned in any of these flashbacks or dreams.

My name.

How come none of the memories included my name? Is it possible that I never had one?

If I did have one then Kylo knows it too. The only way I could get it back is to read his mind, search through his memories. I knew I'd feel like an imposter, but it had to be done. This was the only way I could really know who I was.

What if I was a despicable person? What if I see something in his mind that breaks me?

I've been through his thoughts once, on the day I returned his lightsaber. I didn't like what I heard. His thoughts were lurking with darkness, darker than the pitch black night.

My nights were turned sleepless. The sleep was stolen from my eyes. I wasted all my energy at night. The lack of rest, made my concentration grow weaker in the morning. I would wake up with no energy to fight Kylo. I found it difficult to listen to his instructions. But that didn't matter anyway, he rarely gave any. He seemed to enjoy fighting me rather than teaching me.

The night seemed to linger on. I jumped off the bed and walked out of the room. My bare feet landed on the cold steel floor. It was cold enough to make me alert. I touched the walls with my finger tips brushing it gently as I strolled through the halls of the starkiller base.

I wasn't sure where I was going. It was too dark. But I let my heart lead me. I stood frozen as I heard a door close shut, trying to listen for any footsteps.

"They should never have let him lead the first order. It was him that caused the first starkiller base to be destroyed. He even insisted to call this one statkiller again for some stupid reason!" It was the sound of an unfamiliar man. Judging by the footsteps he seemed to be talking to himself. He didn't sound too pleased.

"What do you think you are doing here?" I nearly leaped out of my own skin from fright. The sound came from behind me. I turned around to face the man. He was slightly shorter than Kylo. His hair was ginger. It was quite fair, unlike his manners, he seemed to lack them.

"And why do you care what I do?" I placed my hands on my hips.

"Don't you know who I am?"

I narrowed my eyes at him sarcastically eyeing him I got closer to him then said "no, never seen you before,"

He gave me a warning death stare, "I am genral Hux, I am sure you've heard my name before", he said lifting his pointed chin up with pride. I knitted my eyebrows and shook my head. I honestly didn't have a clue who he was.

"Didn't they tell you that no one is allowed to walk out here at night?"

"I do whatever I want and if you don't like that go whine to your Master Ren I couldn't have cared less." I said rolling my eyes at him.

"Kylo that excuse of a commander isn't my master," he growled and yanked my arms, trying to drag me with him.

I pushed him off hitting his body against the wall. I held him tightly in place, my arm pushing against his neck. My leg slightly lifted off the ground in case he tries to resist or make any moves.

"Listen, you probably know who I am already and know what I can do. I don't go by your stupid rules or even care about them. So don't try to tell me what to do, or you'll find your fragile little body in one place and your head in another. You understand?" I was spitting my words at him like venom. His face was turning the slightest shade of purple. A vein beside his left eyebrow popped out.

I let him go and turned away only to be stopped by Kylo. He was nodding with approval at what I'd just done. I pushed him out of my way and went back to my bedroom. The halls were much more familiar to me now. I easily navigated through them.

I sat at the foot of my bed my hands cupping my chin, as I wondered if I had really meant all the things I said to Hux.

Guys really if anyone has any advice on how I can improve just write our I don't care if your rude as long as its helpful. Have a nice day/Afternoon/night, wherever you are...
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