Independent

Chapter 26: The full story

I forgive you pretty boy.

Why did I forgive him so easily? I don't know. It must've been the way he said it, or the undeniable hurt in his face. A smile spread across his face, and he wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"But, if you step one foot out of the line Ren I swear-"

"Alright, alright mother I promise I won't," He raised in hand in defeat. 'Mother' Does he even have one? Is that why he is so cruel?

"Are you okay?" I shook my head, "well then you better rest it has been a long day".

I agreed and sank into the bed, wrapping my body around the blanket. I felt Kylo leave the room silently. At this point I just wanted all this to be a nightmare. I thought that if I went to sleep now, I would wake up on Corellia, and do my training again with Edd. It has been so long since I've seen or heard of him that I felt he probably forgot me and moved on. It was good to finally sleep after nearly two restless weeks.

I slept in through the whole day and woke up the next morning. My desire for food was back, as I devoured the extra food piled up in the tray,  probably ordered by Kylo. After I finished eating I noticed the blood stains on my clothes. I took off the clothes immediately and threw  them on the ground kicking them out of sight under the closet.

After I took a quick shower and changed into fresh clothes, I ran all the way to the infirmary. I made sure to walk quietly in order to avoid disturbing the people sleeping safe and soundly in the room. Gavin was still unconscious. He seemed to be grunting. I got closer and tried to listen more carefully.

"No please, I don't want to go," he whimpered, "let me go".

I felt the urge to wake him up. To hold him and tell him it was all just a nightmare, but I didn't. I called in a doctor to ask him if there is anything I could do. It wasn't the same as the one who helped Gavin yesterday. Instead of helping the doctor demanded rudely what I was doing here, and shooed me out.

Annoyed, I walked out of the infirmary and started strolling through the halls of the starkiller base as I had nothing else to do. I bumped into someone rushing by and as I stopped to apologise I realised it was Hux. I nearly gasped at his state. He was limping, with bruises covering his malnourished face. As soon as he saw me he turned around and started limping faster, as if he hadn't seen me. It only left me wondering what Kylo did to him.

"You're late to training," Kylo's robotic voice rung behind me.

"I didn't know we were going to train today," I raised my eyebrows.
I

"Its different this time, I am going to tell you everything you need to know about me and everything you need to know about the first order".

"Oh, okay,"I have him a slight shrug.

"Are you not interested in knowing this?" He must've thought I didn't want to as my tone was indifferent.

"I actually don't mind, I am tired of feeling so clueless, all the time.

Kylo took me to the meeting room. But I found myself panicking as soon as I saw the table where the meeting was held. All those images, all the horrors came flashing in front of my eyes.

I tried to muffle a gasp, but Kylo heard it. He took one glance at the horror that danced in my pupils, then led me out of the room and took me to his without saying a word.

I found it easier to breath once more, but my hands were shaking and I was about to fall apart at any second. Looking at Kylo in his helmet didn't help. It resembled  the fear and terror it caused to others.

He took off his helmet, when he saw me staring at it. I tried to take deep breaths to calm down. But the world was spinning around me. Kylo was mouthing words at me but I couldn't hear him.

He had his hands on both of my shoulders, his large eyes looking straight through mine. I tried to distract myself, so I started counting the number of times his chest rose and fell,  while trying to breath just like him.  Luckily for me it worked.

"S-sorry I don't know w-what happened, " I managed to mumble.

"I shouldn't have taken you there in the first place not after..."He stopped and looked down in shame.

"Its okay, you didn't know," I tried to assure him.

"Yes, I didn't know that you found me breath taking," he said with a smirk.

"Ha, you have big dreams pretty boy," I said returning the smirk.

"Will you stop calling me that?"

"Let me think about it... No",  it was satisfying to see the irritation in his face.
"Ok, if you want to play that game, I'll play it princess," he joked, so I narrowed my eyes sarcastically at him.

We spent the day in his room and he told me all about how the first order wanted to bring order and stability which he assumed was being destroyed by the rebellions, he told me about the clone wars and about his grandfather Darth Vader, and the galactic empire.

He also said something about being one of the knights of Ren and how there are others like him,  and he continued on about  the history of the jedi and the siths and how snoke the supreme leader trained him.

Nevertheless,  he didn't tell me about us. He didn't tell me that he and I somehow knew each other. He didn't tell me my name.

After he finished talking I headed out to see Gavin. He was still mumbling in his sleep. I gathered up my courage and bit my lip to stop myself from crying before kneeling closer to him.

"No no... don't," he continued. I frowned trying to get a hint about what he was talking about.  But it was pointless.

My hand made its way to his head hesistantly. I promised myself not to read his mind, but I wanted to know what was bothering him and if I can help him out.

The scene around me dissolved and I found myself standing beside a man and a woman. The woman was stranded on the ground, sobbing. The man was clenching his fists staring into the distance,  his eyes sparkling with threatening tears.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" A voice screeched. I followed the man's gaze towards two troopers grabbing, no older than thirteen year old Gavin.

"Quell!" the women clutched her aching heart.

"MUM PLEASE DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME, I AM SCARED".

I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled myself out oh his thoughts and tried to ignore the incoming headache.

Gavin was going to be in big trouble if Kylo or anyone finds out he remembered his past.

He remembered.