Independent

Chapter 36:Reunion

"How did they know that we were coming?" I asked.

"I informed them," Poe said, his hands fixated on the control wheel, as he landed the plane.

I moved away from the window and sat down beside Gavin, buckling up to avoid flying off to the other side of the plane, another injury isn't exactly what I needed at that moment.

We landed easily and smoothly thanks to Poe's skills. Upon leaving the plane I was greeted by familiar faces. Thy were all smiling, which was a good sign. But they looked worn out, The pain they carried upon their hearts almost visible.

Nux leapt and gave me a bone crushing hug. I returned the hug, having missed that affection, shutting my eyes to take it all in. When she released me, I could see the tears in her eyes. She cupped my face in her hands and locked eyes with me. Her eyes as beautiful as ever, they told me everything.

I missed you, I am glad you're okay. I am so happy to see you.

It wasn't so hard to guess since the feeling was mutual.

Next, Finn came up to me "I don't know whether to kill you or hug you, you scared us all to death," his eyes were soft.

"I am sorry," I said in a hushed voice, I didn't even know where to start to ask for their forgiveness. I was sorry for everything I caused. Who knows what happened when the first order found out where the resistance base was. I found it hard to breath, as everything crashed down upon me, and in no time I was shedding tears uncontrollably.

I was the one responsible for everything that's happening to everyone. I was the reason people around me kept getting hurt and I resented myself for that.

Finn stared at me for a second then started wiping away the tears with his hand. I took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled. A method that seemed to help me calm down quite a lot.

I scanned everything around me, and realised that nothing much seemed to change even thought they relocated. R2D2 was beeping at C-3PO cheerfully and Chewie going round in circles, making sure the millennium falcon is still in one piece, just looking at him made my heart ache, his other half has been ripped away from him. The sorrow and the tension were noticeable in the place, which wanted to pull back, to run away and hide from everyone. The fact that I couldn't fight the grief in their hearts and that I was partially the cause for this pain made me feel powerless. If only I could've gone back and changed everything I've done. I felt that my existence was just a burden to them now.

As I continued to scan my surroundings something caught my eye, standing in the distance with the same posture and the same soft smile was General Leia, and along side her where a man and a woman. I could've sworn that I've seen before. They looked vaguely  familiar, straight out of the shadow of my distorted past... That woman she had a look of concern etched upon her face, Her face...  it was so beautiful...so intimate...

No it couldn't be, they died, I saw it happen...in Kylo's thoughts, didn't I?

I felt my heart beat rise at their sight, and my blood rushing along my vessel, almost as if their presence brought back instantly my will to live. As if the universe was giving me another chance to retrieve my past. I was so confused, overjoyed and relieved, |I was overwhelmed with emotions that I didn't even know existed.

My eyes met with my father's and he gazed at me for a second, but not through me  as if I was a stranger, almost as if he didn't even know me. He turned away without a hint of recognition and I felt as though someone had stabbed me in the heart.

He whispered something in my mother's ear who immediately turned her sight to my direction. I felt my heart melt a little, when her face softened.

They recoginsed me! they're alive! I am not dreaming!

My legs started moving spontaneously towards the duo, and with each step they sped up until I was sprinting towards them, and they towards me.

We collided together, and almost like a puzzle it was a perfect fit. The tears built up in my eyes once again. My mother cupped my wet face in her soft delicate hands, her eyes were wide, and she was truly gorgeous she had long greying hair, and wide eyes. On the other hand, age seemed to have gotten to my father. His eyes were weary and tired, the y seemed to be trying desperately to avoid mine. His body language almost screaming 'I want to hide away in shame '.

"Oh Vanity, my  Vanity, she's back, I told she wasn't dead didn't I. I knew it, I sensed it, but you all thought I was going crazy," she pointed at dad and Leia accusingly.

I wanted to speak, there was so much on my mind,so many questions, It felt as though my head was going to burst. But it seemed that I was only capable of mouthing the words 'Mum' and 'Dad' repeatedly while staring at them with a mixture of further confusion, relief and happiness.

Then it hit me. Kylo wasn't lying, he wasn't lying when he said he didn't kill them, and didn't even give him a chance to explain what happened.

'But how? Kylo he-he... I thought he killed you?' I stammered, trying my best to hide my curiosity.

'Ben, I mean Kylo let us go, I think he mumbled something you about not being able to forgive him,' my mother's words swam and my head, and it took me a moment to sink in, he was never really too far gone. 

I turned to my dad who was still silent. His hands were shaking vigorously, threatening that he might collapse any second. His eyes were watering and his lips were trembling, "Dad?"

Just as though this was his cue, he burst out crying, He fell onto his knees covering his face, as if he was trying to mask his weakness. I stood there clueless, why was it that I had to cause so much pain to those that I loved most? Why me? I stretched out my hand to him. It was unsure but steady,I placed my palm on his shoulder, but he flinched. 

This was a new kind of hurt. Was he rejecting me? I looked over at Leia who was examining my every move. Probably expecting news about her son, I saw sympathy in her eyes. I took a step back and looked around in confusion. Reality set in. I didn't belong here,they think I am with the first order. Starting to regret coming to the resistance base, I moved backwards, my whole body was shaking, the stinging pain returned, but it was worse this time.I bit my lips in attempt to stop myself from crying out.

"Vanity are you okay?" the sentence was muffled, nothing seemed audible anymore, the ringing sound in my ear was growing louder,something was definitely wrong. I dropped to the floor, unable to move, or even express any pain. The only screams were internal,crying out for help. My eyes were still open, and I could still see what was going on around me. I was greeted by a couple of faces standing over me.

Poe and Gavin were talking frantically probably explaining what happened and how I collapsed before. Someone was picking me up, but I couldn't tell who it was. I tried to move, but I was paralysed. I fought back the will to shut my eyes, but I felt like there was no energy left for me to even do that. I felt my weight pulling me down. There was no purpose to fight back anymore, so I let it sink in.

It's been six months since I last posted (0_0) oops... last few months have been a roller coaster ride for me I started school and there was absolutely no time to write anything. Also I was in shock to hear about Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds :'( I hope they're in a better place now...

I'll try to post ASAP I promise I'll try.