Alone Together (a Patrick Stump fanfic)

Chapter Thirty-One

OMG GUYS. I'm so sorry!!! School has just been so hectic. Summer is coming which means more updates :D Oh, I think I need to put a trigger warning here. This chapter may be a bit depressing and deals with some sensitive subjects.

                                                                                Roses' POV

Things still haven't been the same since that incident. Patrick keeps trying to get me to forgive him and Pete has just been begging me to get Patrick to forgive him. Too much stress. I'm trying to pretend nothing happened. That Patrick never cheated or that Pete confessed his love to Patrick. All of this stress is causing whatever mental block I had to go completely down. So, all that has happened to me keeps replaying in my head. It won't stop, no matter what I do. I feel as if I'm going insane. Every night, I dream He is alive and is coming after me. There is no escaping him even if he is dead. Patrick seems to be more worried but why should he care? After all, I am apparently not good enough for him. 

Now, here I am, standing in the kitchen staring at the blade of the knife in my hand. The way the light bounces off the metal surface is mesmerizing . When I raise the blade, I can see myself. I wonder how bad it would feel if I just placed this into my chest. Would it take long to die? I shook my head, shocked at myself for even thinking like that. I stared at the blade once more and then a thought came to me. I could just get some release from the mental stress. I ran my finger gently down the blade and a smile formed. 

I lifted my dress up and brought the blade to my thigh just above the old scars from when I was younger. I pressed the blade hard against my skin, I went to drag the blade when I heard a gasp. I looked up to see Patrick staring at me. Damn it. He rushed over to me and took the knife away from me. I stared at my source of release, feeling defeated. 

"No, Rose," He pulled me into his arms. 

I just stood there, letting him hug me.  He placed both of his hand on my face, making me look at him. He looked so pained. I felt confused, why should he care so much?

"Don't ever do that again. I thought you were going to stay clean?!" He stared into my eyes as he spoke. 

I just nodded, I wasn't sure if I could speak without crying. 

He leaned in and kissed me softly before pulling away. "Please...Let me help you..." He begged.

 I just nodded, I just wanted to feel numb. He stared at me once again before he placed the knife into the knife holder.  Before he could speak again his phone started to go off and he looked down at him and sighed. He walked away answering. It was Pete.  I sighed and opened up the fridge trying to figure out what to make for dinner. I pulled out some ground beef,  zucchini, tomatoes, onion, and some garlic. I was going to cook spaghetti. 

I placed a pot full of water to boil and turned over to begin cutting up the meat and veggies. While I cooked I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to the begin, back before all of this stuff happened. I remembered how excited I was when I had finally met Patrick. I felt like my world was complete and I was happy. I could handle anything. If only I knew what was going to happen to me. I put the noddles in to cook. A few moments later I placed the meat onto the pan and began to season it and cook it. It started to brown some and I added the tomatoes, zucchini, onions, garlic, and tomato sauce to the meat. The kitchen began to smell amazing. 

And amazing enough the food took me away from my thoughts and all I could think about was eating. I couldn't wait. While the food finished cooking, I set the table and began to think of what we could do for dessert. Cake? Ice cream? Pie? Cookies? The possibility were countless. Suddenly, a feeling of nausea hit me and I was running to the bathroom. As was bent over the toilet a thought hit me. What if I was pregnant? The thought hit me hard as I fell back. 

Everything sounded so far away, the sound of the fire alarm and Patrick screaming. I leaned against the wall barely breathing as I laid my hand on my stomach. This was how I was feeling the first time I was pregnant, the nausea and the weird feeling in my gut. I stared at the wall not really looking at it, just lost in my own thoughts. What if its His? I gulped as the tears started to stream down my cheeks. 

"ROSE!" Patrick shouted as she opened the door, smoke filled the bathroom. I just ignored him, I was in a state of shock. I just kept rocking back and forth as my mind was filled with his face. I gulped and tried to focus on breathing but it was getting harder to breathe. The room kept feeling like it was closing in on me.  I felt Patrick's hands on my shoulders as he turned me to look at him.

I looked up into his eyes and saw the worry and panic. I couldn't speak, I was afraid I would end up screaming out. Another wave of nausea hit me and I quickly pulled away from him and threw up. He sat down slowly,  he looked scared. Then he went completely still. Silence filled the room as we sat there both in shock. I think he figured out what was going on. He just kept looking at me. 

"Rose..." He finally said after a few moments passed.

"Yes?" I barely spoke.

"Do you think you're pregnant?" He asked, fear in his voice. 

(Hope you guys enjoy, next update will be soon! :D)