Heal My Heart

F i v e : P u p p y

A/N: Comment and vote! I just got a tattoo!
The next morning Scott woke me up.

"Have breakfast with me." He said.

I got up, seeing the sky was a pretty pink color. "Is Bailey here?"

"No. Not until the middle of the week, remember?"

"Oh. Right."

He took my hand, leading me downstairs. He made me a bowl of oatmeal and got out a spoon. "Try holding it like this," he instructed.

I leaned in to see the intricate way he was holding it. He held it out me and I hesitantly took it. I fumbled with it once, twice, three times. It clattered to the table. I looked up shamefully. "Can't I just hold it my way?"

"Well the way you're holding it, isn't exactly correct." Scott explained quietly.

My pride took an even harder fall. "I can't even hold the spoon." I whispered. "Why do you like me?"

"Puppy, it's going to take time. Why don't you try again?"

He picked up the spoon and held it out. I shook my head. "Can't I just use my fingers? I won't make a mess that way--I never make a mess when I eat with my fingers."

Scott shook his head. "That may be true but I want you keep workout with the spoon." He said decidedly.

I picked the spoon. I suffered through until even Scott grew too frustrated to continue. At that point my eyes had long since filled with tears that I held back desperately. "Let's go back to your way now. Your oatmeal is probably cold by now."

I gladly took the spoon in my fist, dipping it into the oatmeal. Scott had added less water which made it less runny and a bit less messy. It stuck to the spoon better. Scott made his own breakfast while I ate, getting more on my mouth than in it.

He cleaned me up with a comforting smile. "I can tell you're already doing better," he told me.

He's just saying that.

He put my bowl in the sink. "I took the day off so we can work more on your letters."

I shook my head. "I don't think I want to."

"Well, unfortunately, it's not up to you at the moment. Perhaps the reason you had so much trouble was that I wasn't giving you enough help." He said. "So you can go up and take a shower."

I got up, daunted by the task ahead of me.

***

"No Puppy. This way."

He sounded a bit angry. The stress reached a breaking point. "Maybe I don't need to use ps?" I suggested weakly.

Scott sighed heavily. "Just please focus Puppy. I've shown you ten times already. See?" He scrawled it on his paper with ease. "You do it."

I did so.

"No. Can't you see it's backwards? Not facing the right way?"

A tear slipped out and Scott sighed leaning back. "Okay. Great. Now you're going to cry." He shook some pills into his hand and chased them with some water. "Just give me a break Puppy. Please. Do you see how I did it? Just do it that way."

The picture swam in my eyes. My hand shook as I took the fat pencil into my fist.

I copied it just as I saw it.

I hesitantly pulled my arm away. Scott leaned in to look. "Are you intentionally doing it wrong?" He asked sharply. "We've been on this for over an hour now. If you're wasting my time--"

"I'm not!" I whimpered. "I-I'm trying. See?"

I wrote it again and Scott groaned. "I'm taking a break. You can to. I'll come get you when I'm ready."

He closed the door to the office with a sharp click. I wiped my tears away roughly. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." I whimpered to myself furiously as slammed the heel of my hand against my forehead. I pulled my knees to my chest, burying my face into my knee caps.

If only Scott would let it be. I wasn't smart enough. Didn't he understand that by now? Couldn't he tell how hard I was working? Kyle never made Bailey read anything.

I wished Scott was more like that.

Connor hadn't pushed me either. He had asked me if I wanted to be educated and respected my decision. He also never made me eat with a spoon or drink from a cup.

He understood my limitations and he embraced them.

I wanted, no, needed that from Scott. It felt like he was pushing too hard for something that wasn't going to happen. I didn't want to give up. I wanted Scott to understand I knew what I knew and let it go. To just let it be.

I was sure I knew enough. I knew a through d already and 1 through 35 from my punishments at the Auction House.

Wasn't that good enough?

Scott came in a little while later. He looked tired--really tired. "I expected to find you in your room. Did you wait in here?"

I nodded my head mutely.

"Alright. Let's just skip of the p for not and go on to q. It looks like this. You try."

I leaned in, peering at it. I have to do this right. I picked up the pencil and made it as neat as I could. Scott leaned in. "You're fucking with me right now, right?" He asked angrily. "That's a p with a tail--do think this is a game?"

I drew back. "Not-not a p--is a q. Like that." I pointed at it.

Scott slapped my face. Hard.

Tears filled my eyes as I laid my hand on it, stunned.

I've never been slapped before.

"Go to your room. You've wasted my entire day."

I got to my feet, a sob escaping despite my desperate attempt to contain it, and ran as fast as I could to my room.

I closed the door, grabbing Milo off the bed, taking him under the bed with me. I curled up against the wall, cradling him to my chest. I allowed my tears to wet his fur. My cheek hurt. But my feelings hurt worse.

If I hadn't been so stupid, Scott would never had been forced to punish me.

That was what the slap was, right?

A punishment for my stupidity?

I whimpered, curling tighter around the stuffed animal.

A/N 2.0: I'm just so upset that the plot went here! Like what? Scott! No! Be better! 😢😡 Thoughts?