Heal My Heart

E i g h t y - F o u r : S c o t t

A/N: This is so late! I'm sorry! I ended up babysitting all weekend and you can't get a minute with those kids! I mean damn!
Anywhore, comment & vote!

"Charlie!"

He flinched back into the sleek car behind him. A well dressed man stepped out of the car with sunglasses on. "Scott I presume?"

"Who are you?" I asked instantly, keeping my eyes trained on Charlie.

His disappearance had caused me physical pain. I'd been going out of my mind calling his cellphone. I'd filled his inbox with my own worried messages and rambled apologies. "Rhylie McGall. I'm Connor Brigg's sub? You're Scott right?"

He had gone back to Connor. Was he only back here because Connor had his own sub? "Yes--thank you for bringing him back."

"He wanted to come back. But if I hear you're be an asshole again, I'll pick him up in a second. I'm going to head out Charlie--call me if you need me."

Charlie nodded and thanked him quietly. He gave me a wide berth and went inside. "Charlie!" I went toward him.

He turned around with tear filled eyes. "I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry!"

"I don't forgive you. Or at least not yet." He sniffled and wiped his tears. "Do you understand how badly you've hurt me?"

Emotion welded up inside me. I felt moisture gather in my eyes. "I do Charlie. It was--"

"You blatantly went behind my back. Was I not satisfying you? Am I not attractive to you?"

"It's none of that! You're great. I was just stupid!"

"I want you to tell me who it is or I'm not going into the house."

"Charlie is it really that important?"

"It is that important to me." His voice shook. "Who?"

"Bailey's doctor. David Brune." My eyes clenched in shame.

"Wha'? He's a Dom though?"

"I made a mistake in college and when we had drinks Christmas Eve he made a move. I was afraid he would out me so I...had sex with him."

"What do you mean 'out' you?" The concept was probably new to him.

"Doms don't have sex with other Doms." I explained lowly and tensely. "And people don't think well of those that do."

"You had sex with him so he wouldn't tell anyone?" He asked sounding confused.

I guess it didn't make much sense did it? My jaw tightened and I shook my head. "Yes. I realize how stupid it is now--"

"Did you like it?"

"Having sex with him? No! Not...really, anyway."

"So you sort of did." He retorted flatly.

"I don't know Charlie. All I know is that I love you and I want to go back tl how things were before." I reached for him but again he stepped out of reach. "Charlie."

"I'm your sub. You have every right over my body." He inched close enough that I could touch him. He cringed however, as if my touch burned his skin. "But you can't force me to love you."

"Don't say that." I choked and dropped my knees. I didn't care that my employees could see me groveling at my sub's feet. I didn't care that they saw me crying. My sole focus was Charlie. "Please. Please. I'm sorry. I don't deserve you. I know I don't but... Please. I'm begging you Charlie. Whatever you want. Just take me back."

He looked down at me seeming torn and stunned all at once. "Scott..." he uttered looking a bit scared. "What are you doing? Get up--people are staring."

"Let then stare. If I wanted to act like a sub for Brune, then you deserve the same curtesy."

"Scott!" He stared at me as if I'd gone insane. Perhaps I had.

"Nothing has ever meant so much to me before. Not even Danny."

He took a step back as the enormity of the statement hit him full force. It felt right to say it though--it was true. "You can't mean that."

"I was with him five years and I never thought about marrying him. It only took a few days for my realize that you were who I wanted at my side. To spend the rest of my life with. I've made a huge mistake Charlie. I've ruined everything." I wiped away my tears. "I love you."

He shook his head. "I can't forgive you. Not so easily."

"What can I do?" I begged. "Anything!"

"I want you to find Bailey and yourself a new doctor." His voice trembled but he held strong. "I want to watch you delete and block his number from his phone--after you call him and tell him it's over."

"Of course." Was there a light st the end of this tunnel? Could Charlie forgive me for this? "And then?"

"And then nothing. I can't say it'll be the same. It won't. It's going to take me a very long time to trust you again--if I can. But I'll try."

I shot up and wrapped him tightly in my arms, kissing his face blindly. It just felt good to have him back in my arms. "I love you Charlie. I love you so much."

"I hope one day I can say it back to you." He whispered.

It hurt but I couldn't complain. I was lucky that he was even willing to give me this chance. "Will you marry me, Charlie? I'll be there for it all this time. Picking out the flowers and the color themes..."

Charlie pulled back some. He looked at me with a tear running down his flushed cheek. "No. Not until everything feels right again."

"When will that be?" I asked hesitantly.

"I suppose that's up to you." He retorted flatly. "I'm going to sleep in the spare room."

"No--you take the bedroom."

"I would really rather not." He replied, turning away. "I need some alone time."

We had a long road ahead of us. But we'd make it. As long as i kept on the course and followed all the directions.

I had to desire to stray however. I'd glimpsed my life without Charlie and what I saw I knew I didn't want.

Without him, I was nothing.

Without him, there was nothing.

I needed Charlie. I loved him.

And I was going to do everything in my power to make him fall back in love with me.

QOTC: Thoughts?!