Heal My Heart

S e v e n t y - O n e : P u p p y

I went behind the house and into the trees.

Scott always said I had to wear bright colors but my hat was red. That was good enough. I needed to be alone.

To try and understand the death around me.

Bailey had been my best friend. The last thing I said to him, "see you later."

That was a lie.

Cos I wasn't ever going to see him again. How did Bailey hurt himself so badly? I'd fallen down loads of times and I never had to go to hospital.

Except for when I was with Connor.

Why wouldn't Scott make me feel better? Make the sadness go away because he made me feel so good.

Sure it was okay to be sad but didn't he want me to be happy again? And the way to be happy was to make love.

And then we'd cry.

That's how it worked.

I heard rustling in the brush. I got to my feet, drawing closer. Then a little head popped out! It was a little puppy. It had big fuzzy ears. It's fur was orangey brown. "Hi."

It disappeared in the brush and then tumbled out with a little mouse in his mouth. "Ew! You can't eat that."

He made a little growl and laid down, started to eat it. I blanched and scooped him up. He yipped and struggled a minute. His tiny claws scrabbled against me for a moment before he went still with a whine.

"I'm going to keep you." I decided.

At least I had something else to think about besides Bailey. I knew Scott would probably be in the office, saying goodbye to employees.

I pushed the door open and Hank glanced over then looked again. "Jesus Christ--Scott your kid's got a fucking fox cub."

"What? He's not my son-- Puppy!" He got up from the desk when he saw. "Where did you find that?"

"In the woods. He was so hungry he was eating a mouse. I thought maybe I could keep him."

"You can't keep a wild animal Puppy. Take it outside and let it go."

"No! He's going to be my new friend."

I carried him around the house quickly and brought him inside. I set him down but he ran deeper in the house. "Wait!"

Scott ran into the house. "Puppy! Goddamn it--did you let that thing go?"

"Are you mad?"

"Am I mad? Puppy that's a wild animal you let loose in here! What if the baby had been playing on the floor?"

"He's nice!"

"Look at your arms! He clawed you up--come here."

At the sink he washed away the blood. I leaned against him. "I miss Bailey."

"I understand that. But now instead of talking it all out with you I have to go call animal control to get the animal out here, and then disinfect everything."

"Why can't he stay?"

"Foxes aren't pets Puppy."

"It's not a fox. It's a puppy. Like me."

"No it's not. It could be rabid for all I know! Now I've got to take you to the hospital."

"I'm not sick."

"But you could be," he argued. "I'm very upset with right now Puppy. What were you thinking?"

"I was in the woods and I sad and you didn't want to make me feel good. And then he visited me."

"He didn't visit you Puppy. He was just living his life and you stole him."

"I did not steal him!"

"His mother is probably worried sick," he retorted.

"His mom?"

"Yes."

"What about my mom Scott?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think she's worried sick about me?"

Scott was quiet for a moment. "I'm not sure. Maybe."

"Do you think she sent me away because I was a bad boy?"

"Do you remember her at all?"

I frowned and thought as hard as I could. "She had...yellow hair."

"Is that all?"

"She said sorry before she gave me to Him."

"Him?"

"The man who put me in my crate."

"Are you ready to go?" He asked suddenly.

I nodded my head. He got me in the truck and then talked to Hank before he got in too. "Why do you think she was sorry?"

"I have no idea Puppy."

"Yeah... I guess it's silly to wonder. If she wanted me she would have kept me right?"

"I guess."

For some reason it hurt my feelings. I wanted Scott to say that my mom loved and was sad she had to give me away, even though I knew it wasn't true. After all, how would he know?

But he was being honest so I guess that's important too. "Are they going to take away the fox puppy?"

"Yes Puppy. Back to its home."

"Then I'll be alone again." I hugged my knees. "Why doesn't anyone like me?"

"Everyone likes you."

"No. I bother them."

"Well try talking to them in a different way."

"What do you mean?"

"You always want their attention when they're trying to get things done. Why don't you talk to them at lunch?"

"Cos I watch my shows."

"Well there you go."

"There I go where?"

"If you want to make more friends then you need to make more of an effort." Scott explained. "You can...come on strong. You have to kind of ease them into you."

"Like when we made love?"

"No Puppy. Nothing like that. Let's just talk about it more later? I'll see what I can do about finding you some more friends."

"I guess. I still miss Bailey. Are we going to bury him in the backyard too?"

"No Puppy. I'm pretty sure it's illegal."

"Why? Then I can visit him every day!"

"There are regulations on how you dispose of a body--" he paused. "You just can't. Want to listen to some music?"

"Sure," I decided.

"Alright then."

QOTC: Scott's behavior? Impersonal or was he just being straight with Puppy?

100 comments (with no dragging out words lol) and I'll update by 11pm tonight.