Heal My Heart

S i x t y - F o u r : S c o t t

A/N: Comment & Vote

I pulled him into a hug.

I knew how devastating death was--and this was his first experience with it. He sobbed in my shoulder, clinging to me, begging me to bring him back.

Tears gathered in my eyes. I'd miss the annoying creature too but my tears were for Puppy. I never wanted him to experience something as awful as this. Eventually I decided to abandon all my backed up work. I gathered him up into my arms and carried him inside.

Puppy glimpsed the still half full food bowl and began howling even worse. I cringed and carried him to his room. He curled up, small and pitiful. I didn't know what else I could say to him.

I wasn't very good at overcoming death.

I laid down beside him and held him close.

***

"Where did Cheddar go?"

I sighed and rubbed his shoulders. We'd been laying for at least two hours now. "I can't tell you that buddy. I guess it depends on what you believe."

"What do you mean?"

"Some people think that...loved ones who pass away go to this paradise in the sky. They call it Heaven."

"Cheddar Cheese went there?"

"Maybe."

"Is that where...Danny went?"

My stomach clenched. "I don't know." I whispered, my voice wavering. "But I hope so."

"Can everyone go? When they...pass away?"

"I don't know Puppy."

"You're supposed to know," he whimpered. "Make sure Cheddar goes to Heaven okay? Please."

His mouth hit mine hard. His tears ran onto my face as he rolled over me. Momentarily stunned he drew back looking surprised at himself. I caught my breath as he wiped his eyes. "I don't want to feel sad anymore Scott."

"What do you want to feel?"

"Love."

For the first time it felt right.

My hands fell on his hips and I sat up pressing my lips against his collarbone. Goosebumps rose on his skin and his breath caught. "I loved him." He mumbled as I caught his earlobe between my teeth.

"I love you."

I inhaled the scent of his skin. My body felt flushed. We'd never connected on this level before. "You loved Danny."

I pressed my forehead against his. Tears filled my eyes and fell down my cheeks, mixing with his own. "I did."

He ran his hands over my chest and I lifted off his shirt. I leaned in to kiss the curve of his shoulder and he dug his nails into my back. "Take yours off," he whispered, kissing my neck.

I did so and sat back as he ran his hands over the expanse of my torso. I rolled over him, taking control of the situation. His body naturally went limp, eyes looking into my own with a burning lust I didn't expect.

One I hadn't seen.

"You're crying," he whispered.

My tears fell against his chest. I swallowed and nodded. "I'm sad."

I lowered my head to lick away my tears. Puppy's head tipped back some, exposing his neck. My lips went to the soft spot where I lightly sucked. His fingers dug into my shoulder blades as he panted heavily.

He looked at me, face red, tears still running down his cheeks. His lips partly slightly, shaking a bit before he finally uttered his words.

"I want you inside me."

I didn't make him ask twice. I quickly stripped him of his bottoms and freed my own cock. I'd never felt like this. So devastated and so horny.

I was absolutely wrecked.

And I was loving every minute of it.

I poured lube over my cock, letting it fall and stain the sheets without a care. I lined up and pressed gently. He relented far easier than the first time.

His body was finally accepting mine.

It took almost forty minutes to bottom out and when I did I stayed there, hunched over his body, feeling him around me. His blue eyes stared into mine as we breathed as unit. He went in, I went out. I inhaled, he exhaled.

Beautifully opposing sides working together.

It was...exquisite.

I dropped my head to kiss his neck. He moaned lowly, hands coming to grip my ass. A first--but I didn't mind. His feet came up slowly, wrapping around my waist.

Pulling me in. Pulling me deeper.

I drew in a ragged breath between clenched teeth. I pressed my cheek against his. I was just feeling him at this point. Feeling a body beside mine. The sense of sexual loneliness finally relented.

He was here. The pillow beneath my face grew dark rapidly as droplets fell from my face. I was using both arms to support myself but leaned all my weight into my right as I touched my face.

I was still crying.

I never imagined allowing Puppy to see me so vulnerable. To watch me crumble like this. But we were crumbling together. I knew he was crying for the cat and for his life. For the loneliness and lack of love. For the lovers who's treated him so poorly.

He was giving me the finally piece of himself that he held dear.

And me? I was letting go of Danny.

"How do you feel," I whispered, voice shaking with suppressed sorrow.

Puppy turned to look at me. His turquoise orbs were glistening with his vulnerability. "C-complete."

And there it was. I had one of those crystallizing moments were everything became so clear. Our problems didn't lie with Danny or Puppy's problems.

It was us. We had the same fatal flaw. We self-sabotaged, whether we cared to admit it or not. The second Puppy and I made progress and seemed to be going somewhere, I went right back to Danny.

For the first time, we made love that night.

It was slow and it was unbelievably sad. I'd never cried during sex--I never imagined it a possibility. But when we reached that beautiful moment of climax, we connected on an even deeper intimate level.

Puppy whimpered and pressed his face into my neck as we fell apart. "I love you Scott."

"And I love you Puppy."

We laid there silently, hands tangled together. We weren't sub and Dom. We were equals coming together to escape the hell of our own existent. It was bittersweet.

"Scott?"

I turned my head. The tears hadn't ceased for either of us. I hadn't cried this much for a very long time. "Yes, my sweet boy?"

"I'm still sad. Again."

QOTC: ...Thoughts? 😳😅