Heal My Heart

S i x : S c o t t

A/N: Sooo this is a bit shorter. About 1000 words. Comment and vote!

I paced the floor.

I kept staring at my offending hand. I couldn't believe that I had hit him. I had more control than that! Or at least I thought I did. It didn't make sense. I looked at the workbook again.

There was no way he couldn't get it.

Five year olds knew their alphabet.

Calm down.

I went outside to get some work done. It was late afternoon but I just needed to get my mind off of Puppy. I was surprised to find Kyle washing the horses. "I thought you were in the field today?"

"I was supposed to be but Frank went instead--less of a chance of you two bumping heads again."

He started to scrub the horse. "I thought you were taking the day off?"

"I hit him."

"What?" He looked hard at me.

"Puppy. I hit him." My voice trembled. "He was writing his letters wrong. I just got so frustrated... I slapped him across the face. There's absolutely no way to justify it. I feel terrible."

"Bailey mouthed off to me a few times and I slapped him," Kyle said after a moment. "It's a mistake people make when they get upset. Bailey always forgave me--I'm sure Puppy will do the same."

"I don't deserve his forgiveness. He needed my help and I was horrible."

"I'm sure you weren't horrible. What got you going so much? Lately you seem ready to snap at just about anyone."

I sighed heavily, sitting on an overturned bucket. "I really don't know. We were going over the lowercase letters. We went over them and over them and over them and he kept making the same mistakes. It was like he was doing it on purpose. I don't know if it's to get my attention or if he really doesn't get it, but I'm at my wits end."

Kyle put down the scrub brush. "I went home last night and, y'know how Bailey is--nosey and such. Well I brought it up to make him quiet down for a few minutes and he said maybe Puppy has a low IQ? He said something about someone named Alexia too but he's always talking."

IQ? Alexia?

"I mean, I know he doesn't love staying home and gets kinda lonely but a man likes some peace and quiet after he's worked all day. I just want supper on the table, a clean house, and my sub to not pester me." Kyle went on. "And I know I sound mean for saying it but Bailey really needs to learn to just stop. Before I do something I regret too."

"What did he mean about a low IQ?"

"Oh who knows. I could hardly hear him over the dishes he still didn't have done when I got back. It's not that hard, you know? Just a bit of cleaning."

I nodded my head. I didn't mean to dismiss my friend's words but I was more focused on fixing what happened with Puppy. "I've been thinking about adopting a kid, y'know. I've always one and it'll keep Bailey busy too which will be nice--what do you think?"

I looked at him. "I'm sorry, what?"

Kyle scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "A kid. What do you think?"

"You'd be a great father--so would Bailey."

"You don't think it's too soon?"

"You've been together for what, five years? That's plenty of time."

"And Bailey's twenty-three--plenty old enough to settle down and start raising a family, y'know?"

I bobbed my head distractedly. A low IQ... But Puppy was smart. He picked up things quickly and once something actually caught his attention he could lock on it--like that stupid vacuum commercial.

"I just wish he'd be happy at home. Where I'm from your sub doesn't work. Your sub stays home and takes care of your kids and your house. He doesn't get that. His mom was a sub and she worked. He thinks that's how it should be. He's got too big of a head on his shoulders I think. He got to go to secondary school for almost two years--that's too much education for a sub in my opinion."

I nodded my head. Maybe a call to some specialists would be a bad idea? I checked the time on my phone. Four. If I hurried I could probably catch some place open to see if I could get Puppy in.

"Thanks Kyle--you were really helpful."

"No problem Boss--thanks for letting me ramble for a bit." He grinned.

I smiled as I waved goodbye.

I went into the air conditioned house and did some online searches in the area for learning and behavioral specialists.

Somehow I managed to get him an appointment for next week.

I put down the phone with a sigh and got to my feet. I needed to apologize for my behavior. In his room I found him under the bed. He was still sniffling and whimpering to himself. "Puppy, I came here to apologize."

He turned to look at me. His lightly bruised cheek caused me physical pain. "It's okay. I'm stupid. You deserve a sub as smart as Danny was."

My breath caught and my heart squeezed.

Danny wasn't brought up casually and I was taken off guard by how badly it threw me. I could feel myself spiraling deeply into my sorrow. I fought it with a deep breath, squeezing my eyes shut hard. "Puppy. You're not stupid," my voice wavered a bit and I cleared my throat, digging my nails into my palms as I tried hard to get my mind off my deceased sub. Be strong!

"I-I made you sad."

I groaned sharply at myself as I sob built in my chest. My throat constricted. I pushed myself up to my feet. I left the room, hating myself to the core for my weakness. But I couldn't let him see me cry--what kind of Dom would that make me?

QOTC: Do you think Kyle's being fair with Bailey? Do you think Bailey is being fair with Kyle?