Gossip Girl |~Josh Matthews/OC~|

Chapter 23 - Alone with Lucy

Previously on Gossip Girl...

Tears were forming in my eyes, even though he couldn't see me. I shook my head, "yeah, it does matter. But you cheated, so I need some time." I choked out then walked out of the room.

Maybe, I was in love with him.

****

Blair's P.O.V

I can't get that conversation with Josh out of my head no matter how hard I try. I know it was short but I still can't get it out of my head. He seemed honest about everything he said, yesterday during that conversation I discovered the feelings that I've had buried deep in side.

I do still like Josh, I'm just not ready to forgive him yet. I want to but it's to early. Everything just makes me want to jet off to Paris and stay with my dad and his partner.

I've literally been doing nothing all day, it's not fair that I'm having thought about him. He hurt me, I should hate him! I don't. I have some serious relationship issues...

Then there's the whole thing with Chuck, which makes me even more confused. I know I have feelings for both of them, but I don't know which one I have the most feelings for.

If you break down the pros and cons for each it's about the same.

Josh's pro's:
He regrets what he done
He's cute
He's nice *besides the cheating*
He's a family person
He didn't mind my mom
He actually liked me for me
He's still trying to work things out.

Chuck's Pro's:
He's nice to me
He's kind of cute
He doesn't mind my mom
I think he actually likes me

Josh's Cons:
He cheated
He didn't call me at midnight
He lied to me
He lives in another state

Chuck's cons:
He's a womanizer

Chuck's cons are shorter than Josh's but Josh's Pro's are longer than Chuck's... Do you see my dilemma?

Why do love triangles exist? Especially if neither of them know you still like them. Everything just sucks at the moment.

I've decided I just want to be alone today and have a me day. Eating a parfait in my kitchen wasn't exactly what I wanted to but it's what I'm doing right now.

Besides the relationship stuff I'm also stressed out about college. As soon as I got home from the Matthew's last night my mom asked me if I'd talked to the Yale people yet.

Me being me completely forgot about the appointment and lied to her telling her it went well. Let's hope she doesn't find out I lied, besides I still have a year or two left of high school.

"Miss Blair, is everything okay?" Lucy asked as she walked into the kitchen and started cleaning the tables.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about some things." I told her and put my parfait bowl in the sink and washed it.

"Okay Miss Blair, what's wrong?" She asked setting all the stuff she was holding down.

"What do you mean?" I asked pretending to be clueless.

"You never wash your dishes, so what's wrong?" She asked me again her accent thicker than usual.

"I'm stressing out over a few thinks, but everything's fine." I lied to her again and started helping her clean the kitchen and put dishes away.

"You're lying. I practically raised you while your mom and dad was fighting, what's going on?" She asked me and stared wiping down the tables and chairs again.

"Well the first thing is, there are these two guys. Chuck and Josh. Josh is my ex boyfriend who cheated on me and Chuck is a guy I slept with twice. I have feelings for both but I don't know who I like more." I sighed and turned the sink on so I could wash more dishes.

"Make a Pro's and Con's list." She simply told me as she guided me back to a seat after turning the sink off.

I sighed and leaned my head on my palm, "I already did. It didn't help anything." I told her.

She stuck her stuff under one of the cabinets and turned to face me again.

"Okay, what's the other thing?" She asked

"Well, you know how mom wants me to go to Yale. Well, I don't want to go to Yale, I wanna go to NYU." I told her,

"Miss. Blair, try to talk to your mom. If you say it a right way, she'll listen." Lucy told me, I have her a small smile and nodded. She rubbed my back as she walked out of the kitchen.

Maybe I should talk to my mom.

Will she listen though?

********

A/N:
Hey guys! Anyway, I'm sorry for another short chapter but I hope it was okay.