Shifted #Wattys2016

LXIV

Maxine

I paced, I couldn't help myself. I've paced all my life, my mother calls it the Clarke Pace. My father did it, my grandfather and grandmother, my would-be uncle, my great grandparents. They all can't stand still for long, and they unknowingly pace. She tells me that during conversations, the group would migrate from room to room without thinking about it.

I spent the night at Felix's house, unable to bring myself to go back home. When I woke, Felix was gone. I told Emmett and Bloom and now the whole house I up, worrying about Felix.

He didn't take his phone, and didn't tell any of us where he went or give any indication of where he went.

So I paced.

I was pacing towards the hall when I heard the front door open. I turned on my heel and saw Felix walk through, his mouth red, the neck of his shirt red, his eye black, his nose a mix of black and blue and purple, and his lip split.

I rushed to him but he pushed me away. He started to go downstairs, and I followed after him, asking him where he went, what happened, and if he was okay and I told him I was mad and worried and that he better answer or I swear I'll, then gave no consequence.

He went into the bathroom and locked the door before I could follow. Water ran for a shower and I banged on the door, demanding for him to open the door and talk to me. It was no use.

Felix wasn't going to talk.

I went downstairs, a place I haven't been since the beginning of the summer. I looked at the computer, then at the picture of the wolf I took so long ago. I picked it up, shaking off dust from the photo. I looked at the pool table, only used once in so many years. Felix taught me how to play, and I've now forgotten.

Upstairs, I offered to pick up lunch. I drove to the diner and sat at the bar. I thought of my first full day here, meeting Emmett and then Felix. I remember how strange it was for Felix to know my name.

Driving home, I passed the pool where Caven pushed me into the water and where Felix then took me out for "drinks". My many walks in the woods, and my encounters with wolves before I knew it was Greyson or Felix or any of the others. The library where Felix just so happened to run into me, although I'm pretty sure he was stalking me. The huge bonfire. The one that is burned into my memory. Meeting Ronnie in the woods for the first time, and meeting Emmett and Bloom and everyone else.

Waking up with Felix making breakfast, such a surprise. Him teaching me to play the piano. Coming over to his home and having dinner with everyone. Meeting Wane. Felix dropping by my home at unexpected times.

Finding out about him, the truth about what he was.

Shifting in front of me for the first time.

Me dropping by his home.

Walking around his property.

Ronnie leaving, Felix broken. I piecing him back together.

Road trippin' to Chicago with Bloom, and I realizing my love for Felix in that damned car.

Another bonfire and more scratches and scraps and scars.

Baseball games. Watching Caven play the sport he loves, and showing off to his family. The pack.

The first murder.

The shadow man of my nightmares. Felix spending the night at Julie's.

Speaking with Greyson, thinking that our problems are over.

The Fourth of July, all the fireworks and the fun and forgetting and laughing. And just being at peace.

Bloom's pregnancy.

The rain.

Almost spending the night with Felix, and then Caven...

Caven.

And Ronnie.

The two other kids in the pack and they are now gone. There's just Felix, and it almost feels like we're losing him too.