"Last year, I asked Santa for the sexiest person ever for Christmas. I woke up in a box." – Unknown
DEDICATION: CrazeeDayz for being a cutie pie <3
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"Oliver Twist, how art thou?"
"No, this is Patrick. Please leave a message at the beep."
"Mozza–"
"Beep. Beep. Bye."
"Don't hang up or I'll– I'll do something bad!"
"Ooh look, Chipmunk wants to make it onto the naughty list this year! How precious."
"I always feel naughty when–"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence."
"–I steal an extra cookie from the cookie jar."
"What the heck?"
"Shh, don't tell anyone!"
"My frostbitten lips are sealed, chipper chipmunk."
"Oh man, that reminds me of the time I was dared to wear wood scented perfume for a week. I smelled like a mixture of old gym socks and my crackling fireplace."
"How much wood could a chipmunk chuck if a chipmunk could chuck wood?"
"Have you seen how much muscle there is on my arms?"
"To be fair, I haven't seen any of you, so I don't have any right to judge."
"Thank yo–"
"But I'm going to do it anyway, you twig."
"Twig? Is that seriously the best insult you can think of?"
"Bean pole!"
"Ruler!"
"Zucchini!"
"Cat whisker!"
"Cat whisker? That's so weird."
"Your face is weird."
"Also, I don't think anything can get weirder than the fact that you were actually excited to talk to my co-worker, Chipmunk."
"Andrew."
"Say what now?"
"The name's Andrew."
YOU ARE READING
Snow Boots (#3)
Short Story"You've reached Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?" "Hey, can I rent some snow boots and skis? Maybe even a girlfriend, if you've got any in stock." "Awesome, do you want to order a life along with that? The gift wrapping's free of...
