"Valentine's Day is for couples. All singles can enjoy themselves for the rest of 364 days of the year." – Unknown
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"Now I'm wishing my map app was working. Google Maps! Even Apple Maps! Anything!"
"Firstly, I can't believe you're doing this. You might get yourself killed. Secondly, I can't believe you're resorting to Apple Maps! That's definitely going to get you killed!"
"It's either that or a paper map!"
"Gasp shock horror! How could you even suggest that?"
"Mozzarella, what's that sound coming from your end?"
"What? Um– err– I think it's starting to hail."
"Seriously, Zeus? Not only do you attack me with a snowstorm, but now you're going to pelt me with ice rocks? Don't you have a spark of humanity?"
"Zeus is an Olympian god, so he doesn't technically have any humanity."
"That's not my poi–"
"Chipmunk, turn right!"
"If this is your goddamned philosophy again–"
"No, you dingbat, I'm tracking the GPS signal on your phone!"
"That's so stalker-ish! Also, I can't see anything!"
"Dude, there's no need to shout!"
"How much farther do I have to walk?"
"Probably a metre or so."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Open your eyes."
"What the–"
"Boo."
YOU ARE READING
Snow Boots (#3)
Short Story"You've reached Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?" "Hey, can I rent some snow boots and skis? Maybe even a girlfriend, if you've got any in stock." "Awesome, do you want to order a life along with that? The gift wrapping's free of...
