"I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today." – George Foreman
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"Chipmunk? Dude, pick up your phone!"
"Sooooo, I'm kind of sort of maybe having a panic attack right now."
"Ah geez, I don't know how to deal with this. Just breathe. In and out. In and out. You are getting sleeeeeeeeee–"
"I'm having a nervous breakdown! I don't want hypnosis!"
"Look man, I'm panicking just as much as you are right now. I'm trying my best!"
"Try harder! Dear Lord, I think I'm gonna throw up."
"I'm suddenly glad I'm not with you right now."
"You're not helping!"
"Alright, let's talk about something else! What's your dream house going to be like?"
"I'm not in the mood to play fucking Sims!"
"Well, there's the sarcastic silver lining."
"Mozzarella, I swear to God–"
"Dream house. Just do it."
"Er, medium-sized. Pale blue-grey wallpapers. Flat screen TV. One of those nooks where you can read a book and drink coffee peacefully. Huge kitchen."
"How about a popcorn machine?"
"That'd be good. I'd love a waffle maker too."
"How about we chuck milkshake maker in for the hell of it?"
"Isn't that just a blender?"
"Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. Are you feeling better now?"
"Huh, that worked. Surprisingly."
"Surprisingly?!"
"Ooh, my hosts cooked up some soup and delicious-looking baked potatoes. You mind if I ditch you for an hour?"
"I'll get over my misery."
YOU ARE READING
Snow Boots (#3)
Short Story"You've reached Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?" "Hey, can I rent some snow boots and skis? Maybe even a girlfriend, if you've got any in stock." "Awesome, do you want to order a life along with that? The gift wrapping's free of...
