"A house with no fireplace is a house without a heart." - Unknown
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"This is Westerden Ski Lodge. How would you rate our customer services?"
"Well, that's new."
"Ugh, just play along. It's compulsory for us to ask this stupid question now."
"How do I rate? Using a number? A letter? A guttural shriek?"
"On a scale of argh to aaaAARRGHHH–"
"To avoid shredding my lungs, let's go with a number."
"On a scale from one to ten, then."
"Well–"
"Did I mention that I'll throttle you if you don't say ten?"
"You may have mentioned it in passing. I probably wasn't listening."
"C'mon, say ten! Otherwise my chances at Employee of the Month go poof!"
"Your face is a poof."
"Ugh, you're wasting my time."
"So, what number did Oliver rate you?"
"Eleven, which is why I forgive him for disliking waffles and muttering in my ear."
"It doesn't take a lot to earn your forgiveness, does it?"
"I'll forgive you for everything you ever did wrong if you give me a ten, and you've done a helluva lot of things wrong."
"Tempting, but suffering at your hands has become endearing. What'd Penelope rate you?"
"I don't know, I haven't seen her around these days."
"She hasn't let me know about any future ski lessons. You think I scared her off?"
"Well, if she's avoiding you, she's missing out."
"..."
"Ah geez, I'm sorry, that was inappro–"
"Twelve."
"Uh, what?"
"I'm rating you a twelve."
"Oh my God, you are officially my favourite person on the planet."
YOU ARE READING
Snow Boots (#3)
Short Story"You've reached Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?" "Hey, can I rent some snow boots and skis? Maybe even a girlfriend, if you've got any in stock." "Awesome, do you want to order a life along with that? The gift wrapping's free of...
