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"Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present." - Unknown

"Boo!"

"Boo hoo!"

"Isn't that part of a knock knock joke?"

"Yeah, the crappy one that no one finds funny."

"You just described all knock knock jokes."

"Funny that."

"Hey, this just popped into my mind. You know so much about my family, but I don't know much about yours. Sharing is caring, dearest Mozzarella."

"Except pizza, of course."

"Oui, votre Altesse Royale."

"Glad to know we understand each other."

"So, tell me about your family!"

"Well firstly, I have a reeeeally flamboyant uncle, and he's married to a reeeeally shy man. They're the most adorable pairing you'll ever meet."

"Are you implying that I'm going to meet your uncles one day?"

"I'm not sure if my parents would be okay with chipmunks dining with us. At least mozzarella is edible."

"Your parents eat you for dinner?!"

"What? No! You're so weird!"

"You're so judgemental!"

"You're so sensitive! You should be a strong, independent chipmunk who don't need no acorn!"

"I don't even like acorns!"

"Neither does the rest of my extended family! Granted, they don't really like anything."

"Sounds like my non-biological Aunt Melanie."

"Nah, they'd probably make her look tame. The rest of my family are practically Dursleys. They turn up their noses at me like I'm a bad smell."

"You ever tried perfume?"

"Of course I've tried perfume, you dingbat! I smell fine! My relatives hate me, that's all. We don't invite them to our Christmas dinners."

"You're always welcome at ours."

"You've never even met me!"

"There's a first time for everything."

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