"I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time." – Marilyn Monroe
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"Zzz... hm? Mozzarella?"
"Just thought I'd check up on you."
"I don't know whether to be touched or weirded out. Hey, I've arrived!"
"How splendid! Now look out your window."
"Will I see your face or a bald Asian monk's?"
"You are the dingiest bat of the dingbats."
"You really need to brush up on your insults."
"Just look out your window, for the holy snowballs' sake."
"Oh my jingle bells, there's snow outside! What a Christmas miracle!"
"Oi! Sarcasm only looks good on me, mister."
"What was the point of this exercise?"
"A snowstorm's a-brewin', dearest Chipmunk."
"Are you an English teacher in disguise? Does this symbolise purity and new beginnings? Find out on the next episode of Nobody Gives A Crap!"
"Ha ha, now go outside."
"I'm heading out right n– argh!"
"That, my squeaky Chipmunk, was your first experience of tasting a mouthful of snow."
"What? I can't hear you!"
"That's due to a mystical and wondrous phenomenon called wind!"
"The connection's– really bad– I'm gonna hang up! I'll call you ba–"
"..."
"..."
"The poor rodent never even managed to finish his sentence."
YOU ARE READING
Snow Boots (#3)
Short Story"You've reached Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?" "Hey, can I rent some snow boots and skis? Maybe even a girlfriend, if you've got any in stock." "Awesome, do you want to order a life along with that? The gift wrapping's free of...
