"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas." - Johnny Carson
DEDICATION: xBlondeFangirlx for the lovely votes and comments!
■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □
"This is Westerden Ski Lo- wait no, that's not my line."
"Damn right it's not, Chipmunk."
"Mozzarella! What's up?"
"You don't fool me with your innocent, squeaky, chipmunk tone. What's really going on with you?"
"What do you- I'm not-"
"Remember when you called Penelope hot? When people call others that, rather than beautiful or gorgeous, it implies that they're not going to have a committed relationship."
"Uh, meaning?"
"You and Penelope aren't really together, are you?"
"Okay, I surrender! It was a scheme! A scheme beyond all schemes! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for playing along! I was desperate and irrational!"
"Dude, it doesn't take Sherlock to figure out that it was a scheme."
"Ten bucks you didn't realize until Oliver told you."
"I'll send you those ten bucks shortly. Anyway, what in Merlin's most baggy Y-fronts were you thinking?"
"I'm just putting it out there that it was Penelope's twisted plan. She- um- she thought that we could make you jealous by pretending that we were dating. She says sorry, by the way. Apparently she didn't think it through very well."
"Hm, do you know why she didn't just apologize to my face?"
"Nah, I don't know. She's weird like that. Took advantage of me implying that I was jealous of you and Oliver. Not that I am, of course."
"Why would you want me to make you jealous?"
"Because you're beautiful."
"What? That doesn't make any-"
"And gorgeous."
"You realize you've never even seen me before- oh.'"
"Oh?"
"Oh oh oh."
"About time, slow one."
"I- I don't know what to say."
"Then make no sound."
YOU ARE READING
Snow Boots (#3)
Short Story"You've reached Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?" "Hey, can I rent some snow boots and skis? Maybe even a girlfriend, if you've got any in stock." "Awesome, do you want to order a life along with that? The gift wrapping's free of...
