c h e s t n u t s

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"Nothing says 'I'm confused' like me trying to sleep in winter – heat on, window open, fan blowing, lying under 13 blankets, one foot out." - Pinterest

DEDICATION: nerdtalk123 for the hilarious comments! :)

"This is Westerden Ski Lodge-"

"You're working today?"

"Nah, I rolled up here for no reason in my red Ferrari while shirtless male models showered me with money and confetti. Of course I'm working today, you dolt!"

"You enslave shirtless male models?!"

"Chipmunk, have you ever heard of sarcasm?"

"Where do you even get the models from? Do you abduct them? Do they sit on the side of the red carpet and wait for you to pick them up?"

"Forget it, you wouldn't recognise sarcasm if it did a naked tap dance in front of you."

"Nah, I just think Oliver's rubbing off on me."

"Ugh, then let me rub off on you instead."

"What?"

"What?"

"..."

"..."

"If I heard what I thought I just heard, then I'm going to need some holy ear water."

"Do you want some fries with that?"

"How about some creepy organ music too?"

"Maybe grab some glitter cannons while we're at it."

"Perhaps we'll drag Oliver along. He can do the Macarena!"

"I think we have ourselves the perfect tribute for the dead."

"Nico Di Angelo, where you at?"

"Making out with Will Solace, I presume."

"Ugh, seventy-year-old teenagers these days."

"So immature, the lot of them."

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