"Right beneath your sugarplum eyes." - Jeff Litman
DEDICATION: myfangirldays because you've been a fan of these dialogue stories for ages and you still are to this day, which is insane! Thank you so much <3
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"This is Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?"
"Mozzarella, eet ez good to zee you!"
"Ciao, Chipmunk! I have a trophy waiting for you."
"Ooh, trophy! Shiny! Pretty! I like trophies! What's it for?"
"For the crappiest Italian accent ever."
"Aw man, and I thought I'd actually accomplished something for the first time in my life."
"Are you trying to guilt trip me?"
"Noooo..."
"Verbal puppy dog eyes?"
"Nooooooooo..."
"What do you want, woman? What do you want from me?"
"Since when have I been a woman?"
"Since that time I was told that you put on leg warmers before skiing."
"Hey hey hey, I'm not being girly! Just jealous of the fact that it's socially acceptable for you girls to wear leg warmers! I'm merely a supporter of womens' great ideas!"
"You know that dudes were the ones who invented leg warmers, right?"
"Are you supporting your own gender or not?"
"I'm just being factual!"
"Alright, I'm not going to argue with you. Tell me a story."
"Dude, it's not the right time for bedtime stories."
"Hey, I like how you didn't mention that I'm way too old to be read bedtime stores."
"Of course not! It's not like I'm going to stop reading bedtime stories for my future kid the moment the clock strikes twelve on their tenth birthday, or whatever."
"Okay then, tell me a story. Chop chop!"
"Well, I once sat on Santa's lap and poked him in the eye because the present he gave me didn't have sparkly wrapping paper."
"...What kind of bedtime stories did your parents read you when you were a kid?"
"I was joking, Chipmunk."
"Joking about the messed up story or Santa's lap?"
"Oh, just the messed up stories."
"So the Santa part was true?"
"Feed me some veritaserum and you'll find out."
"I assume you didn't mean for that to sound so sexual."
"In your dreams."
"I'm perfectly happy with my dreams being void of mozzarella sticks, thank you very much."
YOU ARE READING
Snow Boots (#3)
Short Story"You've reached Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?" "Hey, can I rent some snow boots and skis? Maybe even a girlfriend, if you've got any in stock." "Awesome, do you want to order a life along with that? The gift wrapping's free of...
