Markiplier Imagines / One-Shots ((fin))

i've been thinking

idk just lately my depression and stuff has been catching up with me so i've been going back and watching some really old mark videos like his surgeon simulator and even older than that bc i started watching him back in seventh grade when emotionally everything was going to shit (i'm now going into 10th).

it really cheered me up and i've slowly worked my way up to some more recent videos, and i got to one of my all time favorites: #SEXYMARK. and it's not my favorite because of the actual subject of the video, mark being sexy, it was because of some little things i hadn't picked up on until now.

ofc daniel being in it made me sad bc i really do miss him and he was going through something similar to me. but when he did leave us, i distinctly remember (after i had dried my tears) it being just a wake-up call for me, that i needed to seek help bc even though i didnt have the same online following as daniel, i saw how it destroyed mark, ryan, matt, and his family, and i realized i didnt want to do that to the people close to me.

another thing that i realized while watching the #SEXYMARK video was that my eyes were focused on his scar across his stomach. not in a negative way like 'oh, its ugly', but in a way like 'hey, his scars are okay, and so are mine'. especially because he showed them without a care in the world in a video that was literally made to have him be extra sexy all the time. what really resonated with me was that your scars are just another part of you and can be okay and even sexy as long as you don't pay any negative attention to them. my scars aren't the same as mark's, his are surgical and mine came from self-harm, but for both of us, it came from something in our past that we've since gotten over and have accepted, which is huge for me. self-acceptance had been a big issue for me and is something i've proudly cultivated in the past nearly year of therapy.

to conclude my ramblings, these are just some things i've been thinking about lately, and really just how mark has played such an important role in the most emotionally crucial years of my life. feel free to comment on anything i've said, i'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences as well.

❤ Mel

((p.s: what do y'all think about a pirates of the caribbean type au??))

((p.p.s: comment if y'all are gonna participate in my contest!))