Falling Tears

Chapter 7

Jimin's POV

I turned around the corridor so Jungkook or my friends couldn't see me anymore and leaned on the wall. I pushed my hair back from my face and tried taking deep breaths. I would not cry in school. I knew people were looking at me squeezing my eyes shut hard, but as long as I couldn't see them I didn't care.

So, Namjoon and Jin. Not that their relationship was anything new, it just made me jealous. So fucking jealous. No one was pushing me against the wall and kissing me. Never had. I had never kissed anyone. I didn't know if it was my fault because I didn't get to know people but I didn't want someone to get to know me and then leave me. It could be that I wasn't attractive. It could be just because of me.

I wanted to punch something. I wanted to hurt myself. I wanted to feel something else than mental pain that I could do nothing about. But I didn't want to hurt myself. What if people found out I was weak? Then they wouldn't even look at me or talk to me.

I pulled my hair and sat on the floor. The people walking past me gave me weird looks and I glared them back. To a person who was so scared of being alone, I cared awfully little what the people, who I didn't spend time with, thought. I wasn't trying to get the whole world's love. Just one person would've been enough.

But that was too much to the universe. I looked around and saw a group of friends. I could almost see how they all loved each other. How they would do anything for each other. I was alone, sitting on the school's dirty floor, looking like I was going to cry. That was because I didn't have what that group had.

"Jimin?" a voice asked and I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I looked up and saw Jungkook, looking worried which I hated. "Yes?" I jumped up from the floor and picked up the books.

"What are you doing?"

"Standing?" I shook off his hand and started to walk towards my first class.

I knew Jungkook was following me since we both had math. Apparently Jungkook was just too smart to go to the classes that were for kids in his age. Okay, he may have skipped one class and was with me and my friends only on math and gym. At least that's what I thought, I wasn't sure. But who knew what else he would be ridiculously good at?

"What were you doing, then?" Jungkook asked right behind me.

"Sitting?" He surely wasn't ridiculously good at leaving people alone. I knew I couldn't get rid of him soon so I slowed down and let him walk by my side.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Why, Jimin?"

I was getting very annoyed. "Jungkook, I don't have to tell you, okay? I can sit whenever I want, wherever I want. You don't have to know the reason why." I wanted the kid to leave me alone. Or maybe, just maybe he could stay if he shut up.

"But", he said, frowning, "you're not telling anyone."

I fake-smiled. "You don't know that."

We arrived to the class just in time. I took my seat on the back. I took a deep breath to calm myself down when someone pulled a seat next to me and Jungkook sat down.

"What? I'm smart, I can be a huge help." He smiled to me like he was doing a huge favor by sitting next to me.

"And I'm not stupid. I don't need your help." I looked at the front of the class and hoped my friends were here so they could talk to Jungkook.

"I didn't say you were." He smirked and focused on the front as well.

The class started and I realized that I, Park Jimin, actually was stupid. Well, not exactly stupid, I just didn't get anything the teacher was saying or trying to explain. Even when people asked her to show again, I sat there, rubbing my face and understanding nothing.