Falling Tears

Chapter 29

A/N: Please vote and comment! <3

Jungkook's POV

Something was wrong. Something was so terribly wrong. At first I couldn't put my finger on it because Jimin's lips kept making my thoughts disappear. Then I realized what it was.

I wasn't really kissing Jimin.

Physically I was. If I had opened my eyes, I would've been able to see him. His crying eyes and shaking hands that were right now sinking to my hair. I could see his orange hair and his darker roots, his beautiful mouth that was working right against mine.

But still, it wasn't Jimin. I couldn't feel his presence like I usually did. He didn't give me that feeling in the kiss like he needed me. It felt shallow somehow. It was like he wasn't here.

I started to cry because I knew where he was. He was in the same dark place he had been before I had moved in, and a little after that. He was in the place with no love towards himself, no positive emotions, only hate and mean words. I wanted to bring him back, so desperately. I kissed him harder but nothing happened. It was like kissing a ghost and I hated it. I loved kissing Jimin, but this was not him.

I was going to bring him back, I knew I had to. I just knew something as well: that it wasn't an easy job. I had been in my dark place for a long time and even though there had been people constantly pulling me back, I had gotten over it and out of that place. It wasn't something I could do in a day, or in a week. No, it took a lot of time and a lot of effort, just to get something that could happen in a second to come undone.

I pulled away from the kiss and looked down at Jimin. He was looking back with a smile on his face, but his gaze was so empty it was scary. I could easily see how his mind wasn't there with me.

"Jimin?" I asked carefully.

"Yeah?" He wiped the tears from his cheeks and looked away.

I didn't let him do that, of course I didn't. I turned his head back and stared at him for a while. As I was looking at him, our faces close and my arm still around his waist, I could see something in his eyes and hope rose inside of me. I could do this, I could make the clouds that fogged his mind to go away and hopefully disappear for the rest of his life. I opened my mouth and spoke quietly, afraid that I would scare or hurt him. "Are you okay?"

It was a test and when I noticed Jimin was immediately failing it it made my chest hurt. He only sniffed and nodded, smiling a little.

"You're not", I whispered and hated how my voice sounded, so broken. I wanted to seem strong. I hugged him tightly and spoke into his hair. "You're not okay."

There was a silence before a small whimper. "Jungkook?"

"Yes?"

"Being okay is an illusion. It's something you think you are for a while before life gets shit again, destroying everything you've worked for." He lifted his head and pulled away from me. He shook his head slightly. "Don't you see? No one is okay."

I was about to say how I was okay but I knew I couldn't. I wasn't. I couldn't lie I was if every night I made the beautiful boy wake up with my screaming. "Sumin is okay", I blurted.

Jimin raised his brows. "Is she? Maybe she has something she's really scared of and it's eating her alive. Something she can't tell because to her it seems wrong or stupid or little compared to everyone else's problems."

"Not everyone has someth–"

"Yes they do! Was it now, in the future or in the past, awake or asleep, something they can't stop thinking about or something they're not even sure what it is. Everyone has something." A tear fell down his cheeks. "Y-You have your scars you won't talk about, I have," he looked away, squeezing his eyes shut, "doubts and fears I knew I shouldn't have along other things."