Falling Tears

Chapter 11

Jimin's POV

As soon as I walked out of the school's doors, I started crying. I stared at the street the whole time it took me to walk home, even though I doubted anyone would've cared.

I should've guessed. I let him hug and comfort me, and he had been doing stuff I had told him not to do the next second behind my back. If that wasn't a sign that I couldn't trust him I didn't know what was. I knew Jungkook had done that for me but I didn't need him to be my hero as Tae had said. I didn't need anyone to be. I didn't want anyone to be.

I was so pathetic. I had trusted Jungkook for one second. I had, just for a second, thought that he might actually care for me, even if it was just a little bit. He had hugged me. But I guess it was just a payback from last night's hug.

I took a deep breath that did nothing close to calming me down as I arrived home. I sat on the edge of the couch and realized that I hadn't brought my schoolbooks except math and I was sure I wouldn't get anything. Now was I only mad at the person I had to share a room with, I would have to go to school tomorrow being behind the schedule in some subjects.

My life was going so great again.

I curled into a ball on the couch. My eyelids were suddenly very heavy from all the crying and waking up in the middle of the night. The pressure in my chest felt lighter as I started to drift off to sleep

~

I snapped out of my dream when I heard the door slammed shut and fast footsteps. I lifted my head off the couch and it took me a while to get where I was. When my eyes focused I noticed Sumin taking her shoes off. I sat up and the couch made a noise which made Sumin whirl around at look at me. I run my fingers trough my hair as we awkwardly stared at each other.

She turned her head and yelled to the stairs: "Jungkook, he's here!"

"What?" he shouted back. I heard him running and then saw his head popping from the top of the stairs to first look at Sumin and then at me. "Oh, thank God." He ran the stairs down and he came to stand in front of me.

I was still half asleep but I remembered enough to be mad at him. I got off the couch and walked past Jungkook to the kitchen to drink some water. I got a glass from the cabin and went to the sink but Jungkook stepped into my way. I tried to circle around him but he followed my every move. "Excuse me?" I asked. "Could you move?"

"No, because, Jimin, we –"

"We nothing!" I shouted. I couldn't care less about the fact that Sumin was looking at us from the other side of the kitchen.

"Jimin, you have to forgive me! I did it for you!" He looked so desperate trying to make me understand his side of the story but I couldn't.

"I told you not to do anything! And you did, the one thing I asked you not to!" I felt my grip getting stronger from the glass I was holding and a part of my brain was scared about me breaking it. "I can't trust you at all! You keep asking me about –"

"So..." Sumin started awkwardly. "I'm going for a walk, okay?"

Both me and Jungkook looked at her for a second before nodding. She flashed a careful smile, put her shoes one quickly and left.

"... About my life and then you do something like that? You won't even tell me what's wrong with you!" I continued.

"Nothings wrong with me!" he said with a frown.

"Really?" I grabbed his arm and pushed his sleeve back so the bare skin of his arm was visible. "Your arms are full of scars! Why?"

"No reason." I looked at his face and realized he looked like he was about to cry.

But I was too frustrated to care at this point. "No reason? It makes me wonder what else is wrong? Why do you have terrible nightmares?"

Jungkook was already tearing up.

"And the scars. Is it just your arms or other places too?" I reached down for his hoodie but Jungkook slapped my hand away.

"I'm weird? Why is everything wrong with me? When are we going to talk about all the things that are with you?" Tears were falling down his cheeks but my expression hardened at his words. "You cry all the time. You go for walks to cry! You have terrible friends! And where the hell is your mom, Jimin?"

"Shut up!" I yelled. "Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!" I tore my hair and I felt my eyes filling with tears.

"NO!"

"YES!" I let go of the glass to cover my ears and it shattered into million pieces on the floor with a loud crash. Jungkook stopped saying whatever he had been saying to look at me with a scared expression. I wasn't sure if he was scared of me or the reaction he had gotten out of me. I knew there was glass all over the floor but my legs felt suddenly very weak. As I started to fall, Jungkook caught my arm and stepped next to me to hold me up. He was still wearing his shoes and as he stepped on the glass it made strident noises. I tried to make my legs work and as they did I pushed Jungkook away from me since I couldn't move with him being so close. I turned around and hopped on the table and from that as far away from the glass-sea as I could. And as far away from Jungkook as possible.

I didn't look behind me when I climbed up the stairs to my room and slammed the door shut, falling on my bed the next second.

I cried for the fifth time today.